Not everyone is a hugger, and that’s okay. Relationships shouldn’t be based on your seamless ability to perform platonic or romantic acts of physical affection.
However, if you’re attempting to comfort someone, or have a partner with a preference for physical touch, it’s not a bad idea to reach out—literally—for the sake of love. Your partner isn’t asking for intense PDA, but you could hold their hand every once in a while.
Hand Holds
Platonic and romantic handholding is one of the easiest ways to establish a connection with someone, and it doesn’t have to be while you’re walking somewhere. Sitting, watching a movie, relaxing at home, or even when you’re talking about tough subjects, a little hand hold signifies ‘I’m right here with you.’
If you and your bestie aren’t a ‘hand-holding’ duo, you can link arms instead!
Sit Close
If you’re not a cuddler, you’re not a cuddler, but sitting on opposite ends of the couch from your partner or friend can feel like an emotional barrier as much as a physical one. Try some light knee-to-knee, hip-to-hip, or shoulder-to-shoulder action when you’re hanging out with loved ones for some physical closeness.
Little Nudges
A little nudge or squeeze at the right time can convey much more depth than you think. A hand on the arm after you tell a joke can indicate ‘I’m having such a good time with you,’ while a subtle squeeze can be one of concern, an inside joke, or a ‘we’re going to talk about this later’ moment. Regardless, the nudge is a versatile tool for physical affection.
Back Rub
In times of stress or upset, a back rub can be a great source of comfort. You can massage your partner or close friend’s back or shoulders if they like that sort of thing, but you can also firmly run your palm across their shoulder blades. This action feels grounding and warm, which can help someone who is sad, sick, or otherwise upset.
Finger Caresses
We promise this isn’t as dirty as it sounds. What we mean is that while you’re sitting next to your partner, or having a conversation with your partner, you can trace small areas of their body to show that you’re attentive and engaged. Run your fingertips up and down their arms, draw circles on the back of their neck, or run your thumb along the underside of their thigh.
Leaning
Lean into your friends or partners, or allow them to lean into you. This is a simple, no-nonsense way to be there for your loved ones without having to do too much, as you or your loved one will feel supported physically and emotionally. You’ll naturally feel inclined to put an arm around them, which can also help with feelings of protection.
It shouldn’t have to be said, but consent is always important when it comes to physically touching another person. If you know that your friend or partner is touchy-feely, they will likely welcome it openly, but always, always ask.
