So background: My MIL and I have always had some issues. She's divorced, single, lives alone, and recently moved across the state to be closer to my husband and our 8-month-old daughter.

Now onto the story. Yesterday we went out to lunch with my MIL, my husband, and my daughter. Lunch was fine, food was great, we talked and got along just fine. I even hugged her goodbye. I thought all was well.

Then I get home and see she posted on social media a picture of her, my husband, and my daughter, with a message about what a nice lunch she had with just the 2 of them. I went to the bathroom during lunch, where she quickly took the picture of the three of them. (I totally understand wanting some pictures without me and would've taken the picture had she asked.)

I didn't even know about the picture until I saw it on social media. And it honestly kind of upset me that she went out of her way to make it look like I wasn't there. I didn't mind the picture, just the sneakiness of taking it while I was in the bathroom and then not tagging me in the post about lunch like I wasn't there.

So here's where I get back at her. When I saw the post I requested to tag myself in her "check in" to the restaurant we were at and commented: "Lunch was great! I'm so glad the 4 of us could get together!" Admittedly it was pretty passive-aggressively addressing that she intentionally excluded me, but I think to anyone else it just looks like I enjoyed lunch with my family.

She got so upset that I "attacked" her on social media that she deleted her whole profile.

Recently my 10-year-old son expressed a desire for an earring. He had been mentioning it since he was 6 but this year he started asking for it more persistently. So I thought he’s not going to let this go, so it’s better if I take him to a piercer and do it sterilely and safely. He only wanted one ear pierced, it looks good, he’s content and to my husband and me, that’s the most important thing.

And that tiny piece of jewelry made MIL go ape. Yesterday he went to visit her alone and when she noticed the earring, she started yelling and scolding him for it. First MIL thought he did it himself because there’s no way a parent would allow their son to do it and she didn’t believe that I took him to the place. She was like ”What will your mom say about this?” He said, ”Nothing, she took me to the piercer.” And MIL was like, ”You’re lying! Don’t lie to your grandmother!”

She tried to shame him about having the earring. She was like, ”But you’re a boy. Everyone in the school will laugh at you because you look like a girl now. You’re not a girl, are you? So you shouldn’t be wearing girls’ accessories!”

Then MIL demanded that he took it out. He refused and she was like, ”Okay then, I’m going after my belt. Looks like you haven’t been spanked for a while!”

MIL chased him through the entire house but he’s too quick for her to catch. He ran out of the house, took his bike and cycled straight home.

He told us everything, and said that he doesn’t want to visit grandmother any more because she’s acting like this. I called MIL. She was still looking for him and asked me where he’s at. I said that he’s home already and won’t be coming back anytime soon, because she’s making a fuss out of nonsense. Also she has no right to hit him.

She responded that letting him have an earring is "turning him into a criminal and a girly boy." Um, okay?

I honestly couldn’t even follow her trail of thoughts. How can an earring make you a criminal? How can it make you look like a girl?

MiL is a witch. I don't mean that figuratively. She identifies as a witch and "curses" people. Just a very eccentric person.

My husband and I have an open relationship. What we do is entirely between us and it's nobody's business. This is important. We BOTH have other partners.

In November last year, MiL moved without telling us that she was coming. We got the call from her after she'd set herself up in her new house about thirty minutes away from us. Her proximity and lack of anything to do with her life gave her the opportunity to spy on us and over time she saw many of our "guests". For some reason, she thought they were all mine and could never have been my husband's.

So she comes to my husband saying she believes I am cheating on him at Christmas. He laughs her off and told her that it's not like that. I think his explanation went in one ear and flew out the other.

What she then did was set up a Facebook profile using pictures of her friend's son. She messaged me as this dude. Basically went on for a while and then proposed we hook up. He's a cute guy, my husband agrees. So I set up a meeting at Starbucks.

Imagine my surprise when I arrive with my husband and find MiL waiting for us with printouts of all our messages. She waves her proof at us, doubles down on me cheating on my husband, and only stops when the staff ask her to leave. The argument moved to the sidewalk and we all got very loud. Finally, my husband and I drove off and left her still yelling because she's just stupid.

That was a week ago. Today she called to let us know she's going to put a hex on me to make sure I leave her baby alone and stop ruining his life.

On Saturday my husband and I went to visit mother-in-law's house for sister-in-law's 50th birthday. While there, we get on the topic of birth times. I ask MIL what time my husband was born. She said she would check the birth certificate. She leaves and comes back with a small lock safe. She pulls out her birth certificate, BIL's, and SIL's. Mind you, SIL is BIL's wife, not their sister.

MIL asks my husband where his birth certificate is. He says I have it. She asks me why I have it and I answer, "Because it's with all of our important family documents."

MIL: "But it should be here, with the other family documents."

Me: "Well, having it at our house means [husband] doesn't have to drive three hours here and back to get it, in case he needs it."

MIL: "Why would he need it?"

Me: "Because it's his birth certificate?"

MIL: "No, it needs to be here with the important family documents. So does yours, Christine."

Me: "Oh, that's okay. I'd rather have it with me in case I need it... To get a passport or my social security card."

MIL: "Well, I guess you can bring it after you get those things."

So SIL changed the topic and things went on without incident for the rest of our visit.

But today, my husband got a text from his mom asking when we were going on our trip. When he said we weren't going on a trip, she asked him why I needed a passport then. My husband said I had used that just as an example.

So then she texted me and said, "Christine [husband] said you didn't need your birth certificate right now. Please bring it with you when you come next. And bring [husband's]. Thank you."

So I responded: "I thought a lot about what you said Saturday and I think you're right. So I'm actually taking my birth certificate and DH's to my mom's to be kept in her important family files."

No response from MIL and our birth certificates are going to be staying right here at our house.

I am a 40-year-old mum 3 boys. An 8-year-old and 4-year-old twins. A couple of weeks ago I found out that my husband had been having an affair. I only found out because he gave me a disease. This is relevant information.

So in the last 2 weeks I have seen my husband precisely once when he asked me how he could be sure that I hadn't given the infection to him. I told him to get out and he did. He has left me and our sons with absolutely nothing. This week has been hard!

I went to a food bank and think I have enough for my sons until my benefits are paid next Tuesday. I hope to goodness I have enough gas to heat the house until then too. The only people I have to turn to are my sister (that was a train wreck) and my MIL.

She has been on the phone everyday since I told him to leave. I am assuming he's staying with her but I haven't asked. At first I thought she was trying to be supportive, but I was wrong. She has been making noises about me taking him back, which I have been deflecting, but she outdid herself last night.

She told me that I was being selfish because men have different needs than women and that I should just forget about it and let him come home. After all, it wasn't like he was going out drinking every night!

I lost my mind. I asked her on what planet having a drink was worse than cheating and giving your wife a disease? I also asked her what sort of man ran away when confronted and didn't even bother checking in on his kids or making sure they had enough food or heat. She told me I had to be a better wife. I told her to die in a fire.

I hope to god that I am raising my sons better than she raised hers and that I never become the sort of woman who makes excuses and blames others for her son's failings.

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One of my good friends is getting married on Saturday. Her rehearsal was last night, as the venue is booked for a separate ceremony tonight. So we're all at the venue, getting ready to rehearse, and the best man calls the groom; he's having car trouble. They still have like 30 minutes until the rehearsal starts, so groom goes to go pick him up. While he's gone, his parents arrived.

Now, I had heard some stuff about what a witch this woman was. But I generally kept my nose out. I am trying to live my best life, and avoid negativity.

Bride, trying to be nice, walks over to her MIL, and says, all smiles, "Hi [first name]! Thanks so much for coming."

The Groom's mother says, "I would prefer you call me 'Mrs. [last name].'"

The bride calmly says, "And I'd prefer you weren't about to be my mother-in-law, but it looks like neither of us are getting what we want today."

The MIL wailed about it to anyone who would listen until groom returned. When he got back, she latched onto him, whining about how rude the bride had been. Groom carefully pried her fingers off, and said, "Mom, I've told you before: she won't start fights but she has my blessing to finish them."

This happened a couple of years ago. My MIL has a particularly virulent case of the baby rabies. She loves the babies. She wants all the babies - particularly girl babies, but any baby will do in a pinch.

So when she came over to visit and saw me sitting on the couch, cradling a blanket-swaddled bundle, she just about lost her mind (what little there was). She let out an ecstatic gasp and pounced, leaning over my lap with lips pursed in anticipation of getting some sweet, sweet baby-cheek as she tugged the blanket aside.

Only to stumble backwards while making a sound like somebody just choked a goat.

See, we don't have a baby. MIL knows this, and has been told, numerous times, that SO and I are staunchly childfree - she just refuses to believe it. We do have cats, though. One of them loves to play. His favorite thing to do, besides eat, is what we call the Sloppy Burrito. He jumps up in my lap, I cover him with his favorite blanket, and he will then roll up and around in it until he passes out from sensory overload (or rolls off my lap).

When MIL pulled back the blanket, it did not reveal an adorable chunky baby, but rather an adorable chunky cat. And not his adorable chunky face, either.

MIL almost kissed my cat's butt.

Why didn't I tell her it wasn't a baby? she demanded. Why would she think it's a baby? SO countered. She thought maybe we were baby-sitting my best friend's newest. Well, then why didn't I stop her? Why was she trying to kiss some stranger's baby without asking first? Who just kisses strange babies?

She just muttered something about being too excited to control herself and excused herself to the bathroom.

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I gave birth to twins a month ago. They are not identical, but look very similar. As of right now I’m the only one that can really tell them apart, because I spend 24/7 with them.

MIL is visiting for the first time since their birth. She’s been here for almost a week. I’m tolerating her.

Today I was putting the twins in their swings when MIL leans over and starts to examine them like they’re Area 51 aliens. She points to Twin B and says “this is Twin A.”

I say “no, that’s Twin B.”

“Impossible, that’s Twin A. She’s got (insert random trait Twin B has that Twin A doesn’t).”

“You’re thinking of Twin B, which is who you’re looking at.”

“You’re wrong, Twin B has (insert trait neither of the twins have because this woman doesn’t know what she’s talking about).”

“I think I know my children, MIL.”

“I’m telling you, this is Twin A.”

Ok, MIL. If you say so. Then my toddler comes over and points to Twin A and says their name. I tell her she’s right. MIL rolls her eyes.

This is going to be a fun debate for the next few decades.

My MIL wants us to have children, and we won't. My husband finally told her about his vasectomy, which seemed to shut her up for a while.

Well, yesterday MIL told us all that she had purchased a burial plot for her and FIL, and how she's pre-planned a funeral and wanted to start working on their long-term medical requests and power of attorney docs. All good things! Then she starts to tell us about her estate. FIL tries to change the subject, but no, no, we have to talk about this as a faaaamily.

Well, MIL gets this smug look on her face and then goes on about how their estate will be divided up, which basically gives my husband almost nothing because we "don't have children, and the money is to support their family line."

Her face when my husband and I both nod approvingly at this... it was priceless. I'm fairly certain she wanted us to fight back, or cry and make a scene, or beg her for money.

She controls two of her children with money but not us, and it drives her nuts. She sent my husband an email last night "apologizing" for her decision and giving him a "method of communication" about this without me involved. 100%, she was trying to get him to beg her for money or change her mind.

So, he popped me on the email and responded, "Mom, we both want you to enjoy your money and have a happy and secure retirement. This is your money, you can do whatever you want with it, and we'll never criticize you for your decision."

The rest of her kids are already fighting over their bones, but not us. I'm using good manners as an insult.

My MIL is a master manipulator and liar. She would say horrible things to me whenever we'd be alone, and when I'd later call her out for those things she'd manage to twist my words or straight up lie to the point that nobody would ever believe me. For years it was maddening to the point that I only really spend time around her because its the only way to spend time with my wife's siblings whom I adore.

Well this weekend my wife, MIL, FIL, and some of her siblings and other relatives were over there and BIL brought over the game Secret Hitler. For those who don't know, its a social deception type game where players are on two separate teams Liberals and Fascists. One of the fascists is Hitler. This information is hidden except that the fascists know each other. So its basically a game of liberals trying to figure out who the fascists are while the fascists secretly try and cause chaos and get Hitler into power.

Well, in this particular game we were taking our turns and arguing about who was who and MIL immediately started to turn the table against me. I was a liberal this game so it was obvious from the way she was playing that she was a fascist trying to take me down.

Eventually, a few rounds later, MIL made an uncharacteristic mistake during one of her lies to the table and flubbed a minor detail. I jumped on it and was able to then prove to the entire table that she was a fascist. The table agreed and I was able to use the "assassinate" mechanic in the game to eliminate a player.

So in my moment of triumph I stood up, made a finger gun motion at MIL and said, "You are literally Hitler" and "eliminated" her. In the game, if Hitler dies, the liberals win. Well MIL was Hitler, so we won. MIL stood up, threw her cards on the table, and stormed off up to her room where she spent the rest of the night sulking because she got proven a liar in front of her family.

So very, very satisfying.

My sister-in-law got married in September. Everything probably cost around $15,000-$20,000. We knew that my SIL and new husband probably got a substantial amount of help paying for the wedding. This was after my MIL told us they wouldn’t be paying a thing for our wedding (3 years ago).

My SIL husband did tell my husband a couple of days later that my MIL paid for almost all of the wedding. When my husband told me that I was kind of floored but thought oh well, that’s life.

But then, yesterday, my husband gets a letter in the mail from a collection company. It seems like it can’t be right because they say he owed about $8,000 on a credit card he’s never seen before. He called their number and the company said they would cut him a deal and he’d only have to pay $5,000. He thought it was a scam so he hung up.

He then called the actual credit card company and found out the card was real and it was in his name but it hadn’t been paid for several months. The address listed on the account was his parents’ house 400 miles away and he hadn’t lived there for at least 6 years.

He called his mother yesterday and she denied knowing anything about it. When he said he would just have to report it as theft to the police, his mother’s demeanor changed completely, telling him he shouldn’t go to the police and should just take deal to pay off $5,000. She said something about "there’s a good chance I was the one who opened the account and probably had a secret shopping habit." He told her insisted he was calling the police.

At that point, she finally confessed to taking the credit card out in his name back in January “but only to pay for the wedding.” You see, she wanted her daughter to have her dream wedding but knew they couldn’t afford it. My MIL couldn’t afford it all either, so they took a credit card out in my husband’s name so that they could make the dream wedding happen. She then told my husband to just pay the bill so that my BIL wouldn’t be mad about it and to not call the police.

My husband hung up without saying a word and told all of this to me. Then he called the cops.

My hilarious daughter (5 years old) has an imaginary boyfriend. She talks to him on her pretend phone. She asked me to make the two of them popcorn. Young love, I guess.

At the in-laws yesterday, she is gushing about her boyfriend saying he is “berry nice”

I asked her what her boyfriend looks like, and she replied, “Well...he’s black. And he has short green hair”

My MIL looked like someone slapped her across the face. She said, “What do you mean he’s black?!”

And my daughter added, “wif short green hair!”

MIL flipped her lid over the race of my daughter's imaginary boyfriend. For real. I have been laughing about it since. I hope her imaginary boyfriend is also an atheist and/or liberal, because MIL's head would explode.

Update: his name is Moa, and he likes his pound cake fried in a pan with butter, and topped with whipped cream. Interestingly enough, how she likes it. Soulmates.

Ever since my husband and I married and wanted to start a family, we realized that we’re having a problem with conception. After seeing many doctors, it turned out that we both have some fertility issues and it’s highly unlikely for us to have children together.

Half a year ago, my sister and her husband died in a car accident. Their car collided with a truck that went into the opposite lane, killing them both instantly. They left behind three children whom my husband and I got custody of. They’re 11, 7, and 1 year old.

And my MIL thinks this is the best thing that could have possibly happened to me and my husband. When she heard that the children will be living with us now, she looked overjoyed and was like, ”It’s so great, it’s so great! It’s so amazing how life always fixes everything!”

Excuse me, MIL, what’s so great? That three small children lost their parents? As if my sister should have died so that I could have her kids. MIL's excitement about this whole situation just makes my blood boil.

She was like, ”You couldn’t have children and then God gave you some! You should be happy too! That’s more than great! Now you can raise them, a house full of kids if the best thing that can happen to a person.”

I’d rather stay childless my whole life and have my nephews and niece be with their real parents than have children this way when they’re in my care because their parents died.

And then she said something that made me almost smack her across the face.  ”And you should tell them to call you 'mom.'  You’re their mom now and they need to understand it. Especially the youngest one.”

It’s like she doesn’t consider the children’s feelings at all, she thinks it doesn’t matter to them who they live with. I’m sure they’d prefer thousands of times to live with their parents, not us. They’re still mourning. Have some respect!

My husband is mad at her too. Maybe she thinks she’s going to have grandkids now. Well, no. First of all, because she’s no one to them, and secondly because her priorities are all mixed up.

My three-year-old daughter has several severe food allergies. Peanuts and eggs are the worst. She also can't have dairy or bananas.

MIL is super obsessed with my daughter. This is our only child and MIL's only grandchild so I try to be understanding. I've encouraged a relationship between them. I've never actually left them alone though. I can't explain exactly but it just didn't feel right. She's offered to babysit but let it go when we declined.

MIL has always doubted my daughters allergies. She's insisted that her princess of a granddaughter could never have something wrong with her. However, she's never "tested" to see if it's true... until today.

MIL was over playing dress-up with my daughter. I had a horrible headache so I asked her to watch my daughter so I could lie down for an hour. She agreed. 20 minutes later I'm woken up to MIL shrieking that there's something wrong with the baby. I go running to daughter's room and she's gasping for breath and her lips are turning blue. I scream at MIL to call 911 and use an Epipen on my daughter.

My daughter was able to take a deep breath and I noticed she smelled like banana. The paramedics show up (we live about a mile from a fire station), start an IV, and give daughter meds so she can breathe. I tell one of the paramedics that MIL fed my daughter something. He found part of a cookie on the floor. He confronts MIL who confesses she gave my daughter a peanut butter banana cookie but she didn't know it would hurt her.

I text my husband and ride to the hospital with daughter. They admitted her for observation and he met us there. MIL called him wailing about how she was just trying to show us nothing is wrong with our daughter. We're just too paranoid and have such odd ideas about her health.

She admitted to my husband that she's been making allergen-laced cookies for more than a year. She bakes a huge batch and freezes them. She puts one in her purse every time she sees daughter just in case she gets a chance to slip it to her.

I can't even wrap my head around this. Daughter is asking when MIL is going to come see her. She wants to show gramma her pretty bracelet (hospital band with stickers on it).

I'm so devastated right now. I never suspected MIL would do something like this. But don't worry: we're filing a police report.

MIL is here this week to look at retirement communities near us. She came in yesterday afternoon, and we met her at the airport. First question out of her mouth, when greeted by her son, daughter-in-law and only grandchild?

“Why didn’t you get a sitter?”

We tell her there was no need, we thought she’d like to see Daughter (and Daughter has never not been with one of her parents or close family friends, so why would we get a sitter?). MIL responds that we’re “spoiling that girl”, and something about “this is how she’ll turn out like (Me).”

I blink. “I hope so. I am her mother.” MIL makes a noise, and finally looks at me.

She knew I was pregnant. We told her. But I don’t think she really absorbed this until she saw me. I am a small woman. I just am. And Husband is a big guy who makes big babies. So, it is obvious. MIL has to have another jab. “Well, she won’t be spoiled when you have that one. Don’t you people believe in birth control?”

I have no words. I look over at Husband. This is the sort of situation we’ve discussed. In detail. But he is already handling it. He has paper out, and is writing down an address. It’s her hotel. He hands it to her, and puts down her bag. She looks at him like she is crazy. Asks what he’s doing.

“That’s the hotel address. For the cab.”

She says she thought we were taking her (we were going to get a cab with her, do the dinner obligation, and then I was going to avoid her as much as possible for the week- which with how she is and the plans, would be easy). Husband answers “You made it clear you wouldn’t want to be with (Me) your granddaughter. You will not be rude to or about to my wife. You will not be rude to or about my children.”

She stares at him, mouth open. He goes on “I am going home with my family. There is a nice restaurant at (cross streets) near the hotel. Get some dinner. We will see you tomorrow to look at the places. Have a good night.”

She has no time to reply. He puts his arm around me, and sort of guides me and the stroller out.

I love this man.

My husband and I agreed to go over to his parents' house early to help cook for tonight. By that I mean, me and MIL are washing and drying produce, cutting everything up, and basically doing all the prep so that when we actually do the cooking later it is streamlined.

Apparently, I cut the potatoes wrong and she told me to get out of her [bleeping] house if I don't know how to help.

My husband is leaving with me. I had already bought a bunch of stuff on sale because she never lets us take leftovers so we are going home and I'll just make a full Thanksgiving on my own and have leftovers for weeeeeeks.

Screw her.

Ever since I became pregnant, my mother-in-law has gone off the rails even further.

Over the holiday, after behaving horribly to everyone and blaming my "female pregnancy hormones" when I gently stood up to her, MIL's newest obsession is making sure we do NOT find out the sex of our unborn baby. Because if we do, we'll "ruin everything" as "the first child especially absolutely HAS to be a surprise".

Even so, it's "definitely a boy" because "this family's genes make boys" (except for, you know, my husband's sister, and my two nieces...). But basically, she's been berating us every time we speak to her to make sure we don't find out the sex of our baby before it is born.

She also told all the extended family and all of her friends that I was pregnant between 8-10 weeks despite me quite literally begging her to keep it only between immediate family. Yesterday she randomly sent me a list of the top 10 baby names from the local newspaper to make sure we don't consider any of them.

Spoiler alert: science says we CAN find out the baby's sex and despite DH's supposed "boy genes", we're having a healthy little girl! Guess who doesn't get to know this information?!

So I was scheduled for my annual gynecologist appointment. My gynecologist is a male, as I’m not comfortable with another female examining my private parts. He’s an amazing doctor and my old-fashioned MIL doesn’t understand it. All she cares for is the fact that he’s a man who definitely must be a pervert to choose such a profession.

She has tried to step me up with her female gynecologist. I was very firm: absolutely not. I understand that the majority of women probably choose female gynecologists, but that’s not the case with me.

This morning I arrive at the clinic only to find out I’m not scheduled. I was unpleasantly surprised and started to question the desk person, telling them that I haf called and scheduled my appointment months ago. They explained to me that I called yesterday and canceled my appointment.

I was like -- what? I see a gynecologist every year, why would I cancel my appointment? My doctor has many patients, so I called and booked my appointment back in August already and now I cannot get to him and have to wait 2-3 more months because suddenly I’m not scheduled.

Turns out, it was MIL who called, pretended to be me and canceled my appointment. When I confronted her, she was like, ”See how smart I am! You have no business going to that lewd, pervert man. We, women, need to see women doctors unless we’re shameless [expletives] whose purpose for going isn’t really a medical one.”

Well, thank you MIL, you have done me a ”great” favor. There were some pretty important things I wanted to talk about with my doctor. I’ll try to call him, as I have his private number, maybe he can somehow find time for me. If not, I’ll have to wait until December at least.

So about a year ago, my wife and I found out that she was pregnant with twins. We were very excited and so were all our parents.

The pregnancy wasn't easy; my wife went through such severe morning sickness that we weren't sure she'd be able to continue the pregnancy. She's a trooper though and got through it. After 20 hours of labor and an emergency C section, she gave birth to a healthy boy and girl.

Until this point, my mom had been entirely supportive of the pregnancy and excited for the birth of her second and third grandchildren. However, her demeanor changed entirely when she saw our babies.

For context, I am a light skinned black man and my wife is a very fair white woman. When our babies were born, they didn't look black (they were just... pink? like most newborns?). My mom decided that these couldn't be my children and my wife must have cheated. She walked up to my wife, who was feeding our daughter, and slapped her right across the face in front of me, my in-laws, my dad, and a nurse.

Everything descended into chaos. Security came and cleared the room until CPS and the police could do an investigation. That meant my wife, who had gone through a terrible pregnancy and birth, had to be left alone just hours later without me or her parents until an investigation could be conducted. It was horrendously traumatic for her and still affects her to this day.

Since then, my mother hasn't been allowed around to see my kids, but she calls routinely and leaves messages that switch between apologizing and screaming obscenities. My in-laws have been over a lot to help with the babies and have told my mom to screw off a fair number of times. My wife never wants to see her again and I don't really want to either.

My husband and I have this board hanging on our wall. It's a list of all the things we want and need, how much it will cost, how much we saved for it, and when we should be able to have it. It has things like new fridge, dishwasher, nice knife set.

My father and his wife come to visit on a semi-regular basis. Stepmom always makes sure to look at my board, comment on it, and express her sadness that we are unable to afford the stuff. Within a week or so she will buy one of the exact things on my board -- for herself. Her buying these things isn't really what bugs me, what bugs me is her rubbing it in my face. It's super annoying and childish.

Anyway. I was walking through a local store's Christmas section right after Thanksgiving. I was looking for board ideas and happened upon a giant, ugly, super pricey outdoor Christmas decorations set. Which gave me an idea. It was definitely not stepmom's style. But hey, why not try?

When I got home I put the set on the high priority section of my board. I was hoping this trap would be tempting enough for stepmom.

A couple days after that my father and stepmom visit. She looks at my board and asks about the set. I gush over it, describing it as the way to make my Christmas dreams come true. I really lay it on thick.

On Monday we go to visit my dad at stepmom's request. Sure enough, she bought and put up the entire set. It's ugly and over-the-top. I hate it. It's hilarious. Immediately she dives into to describing why she just "fell in love with it" and how she "had to have it". Sshe concludes her gloat fest with telling me that I really do have great taste.

"Oh, I don't actually like the set. I just put it on the board and said I liked it to mess with [husband]. He hates the over-the-top stuff like this crap. Glad you love it though."

If her smile had fallen any harder it would have slid right off her face. The rest of the visit she was quiet. Conveniently, she got a headache and went to bed early.

She now refuses to talk to me, none of her usual texts or calls. Best Christmas ever.

So last night my husband was talking to his mom and mentioned our soon-to-be-born baby because he was so excited about an ultrasound pic I showed him. In the pic the baby is clearly flipping the bird. He tells her about this and her comment is around the lines of "she's gonna be a trouble maker like you already."

Now we don't know the gender yet. But she's insisting I'm having a girl. It's a squish with limbs but she's dead set on girl. Whatever. So he gets into talking about how when baby's older he wants it to learn cars, because that's what he does. Guys. My MIL lost her mind.

"I'M not having MY granddaughter be a little butch! She will wear pink and bows and dresses! None of that greasy mechanic work. She's gonna be GIRLY!" Uh no. NO.

That's where I stepped in and said, "Okay, point one: it's my kid, and my mom didn't raise me 'girly', so I'm not forcing that on my kid if it's a girl. And two: my grandfather raised my mom to know how to take care of her car so she didn't need anyone else to do it. That's what we're gonna do for our kid, girl or boy. Also, if it's a girl I'm not raising some little pink prissy girly-girl."

She apparently wasn't hearing any of this because she goes: "Listen here miss preggo, MY grandbaby..."

My husband cut her off. Here's where you are gonna love him. He says to her, "Ma. Shut up for a minute. Is it your kid?" MIL says, "No but.." "No. That's right. It's not. It's our kid. We're gonna raise our kid how we want to. Not how you want it."

I love him.

Future MIL is very upset because my fiance and I are having a destination wedding. She complains constantly about the cost of her airfare, the size of the wedding, the guests that won't be able to come... you get the picture. I try to limit her exposure to my wedding planning, though when I do this, she complains about how she's being excluded.

She came over yesterday. She was complaining (as usual) and told me I'm getting fat. I need to watch the calories so I can "fit into my dress."

This delightful conversation was interrupted by my fiancee asking me to help him put a bed in the spare guest room together, so I left Future MIL to her own devices. About 40 minutes into assembly, I went to go take a bathroom break and headed into the master bedroom... and what do I find but future MIL struggling to yank my dress over her head. BUT IT WAS FREAKING STUCK. I blurted out "wtf?!" and she immediately started stammering, "Oh my God! OH MY GOD! OH GOD!"

At that point my number one concern was her tearing the sheer backing of my dress so I rushed over to help her. It was all for naught as she managed to scratch her way through the back of the dress and completely destroy the sheer material. She burst the side zipper of the dress and got a dirty foot print on the train.

I asked her, as soon as I got her out of the dress (and I note, with HUGE amounts of disgust, that she was wearing no underwear), what the in the world she was thinking. She responded that she was just trying to make sure the dress would fit me; because if the dress fit her, then it absolutely fit me too. If it didn't fit her, then I obviously had some work to do.

My future fiance is very disturbed by what happened. There was also a bouquet of dried flowers on the bed that wasn't there before. I think she was actually trying to pretend she was the bride... which for so many reasons, is so wrong.

She hasn't offered to pay for any of the repairs to the dress. I have no idea how much it's going to cost until I can get to the seamstress tomorrow. In the meantime, in lieu of an apology, she's lecturing me on spending so much money on a wedding dress and clearly the trouble she had getting into the dress was a sign I should get something less dramatic and ostentatious.

It's taking everything in me not to tell her to pound sand.

I’m fighting cancer for the second time in my life. I was first diagnosed when I was 14, fought it and won. I lived a happy and peaceful life until recently when surprise! I’m 30 years old and I’ve got cancer again. Fortunately it's treatable, but we need to move fast.

I had a surgery and now it’s time for chemotherapy. The doctors decided on oral chemo that I can take at home. I try to do as much as I can but my wife has been amazing; she doesn’t care at all that I don’t help around the house as much as I did.

The other day MIL came over to visit (she knows about my diagnosis). I was on the couch reading and my wife was doing something around the house. MIL walked over to me and was like, ”Look at that! Lying on that couch as if you’re on the beach! Aren’t you ashamed of yourself -- a grown man and lying down in the middle of a day while your poor wife is working as a slave!”

I said, “I just had chemo, I have a headache, I’m nauseous, I don’t feel good.”

She was like, “You cannot cure yourself with those chemicals! Nature products only!”

The next day I was going to take my chemo, as scheduled. But as I walked into the bathroom and opened the cabinet, there was no trace of my chemo bottles. I asked my wife if she moved them by any chance and she said no. Then my wife remembered that just before leaving the day before, MIL had asked to use the bathroom. She could have easily taken the bottles with her, considering her words about the toxicity of chemo.

My wife turned into a dragon. She was literally almost spitting fire as she got dressed and stormed out to go to MIL’s house, I had never seen her so mad before. She came back a half an hour later or so and told me that she demanded my medication from MIL and MIL admitted she took my chemo and threw it out.

Obviously, it’s gone, we cannot search through every garbage bin the city but just the fact that she did it, blew my mind. My wife and MIL had a huge argument and MIL really thinks she did me a favor. She was like, “Don’t you see he’s dying, don’t you see how fragile he’s become? It’s not cancer that’s killing him, it’s those pills! I got rid of them, I saved your husband and that’s how you thank me, by insulting me? Better go and buy him some herbal teas!”

I explained everything to my oncologist and he prescribed me more. We now keep them under lock and key.

The last few months have been rough. Near the end of last year, we lost the house to a freak accident. We lost almost everything we owned. It's just been a really stressful time for my little family of four.

We were out for a school recital when we received the call from a neighbour, and we returned to find the house in flames. The fire department tried to save what they could but the damage was really bad. We ended up selling the property and moving altogether because the repairs amounted to essentially rebuilding the house.

I have been married for ten years and my MiL has never liked me. I always believed that even if she didn't like me, she'd help me in a time of need because I was the mother of her two grandsons and the wife of her son, and I made them happy. I was wrong.

On the night of the accident, we needed a place to stay temporarily, at least until we could have a few moments to breathe and get our bearings. My husband suggested we stay with his mother for the night. It was late and it made the most sense to us both. We drove over to the house. My boys were half-asleep in the backseat and we left them in the car when we went to speak to MiL to explain what was going on.

She was very sympathetic at first and said she had no problem with my husband and my sons staying, but I would have to make other arrangements. My husband lost it with her and began to yell that she was being unreasonable, and she refused to budge. In her words, I wasn't true family and she'd never blessed our marriage in the first place, so I was not her responsibility.

We left and spent the night in our car, and we got a motel the next day. She began calling and inviting us over to stay again, and she said that she'd graciously permit me to stay in the garage for a few days. Again, we didn't take her up on the offer and my husband told her that she was being very disrespectful. My MiL got very angry in response and said that we were spitting on her generosity. She then offered to keep the boys so that they wouldn't need to stay in a motel while we put our lives back in order.

Again, we rejected her offer. We heard nothing from her for a few days until we learned that she had been badmouthing me to people. She was claiming that I was tearing the family apart in this time of need with my grudges. From her point of view, she'd opened her house to us in an instant and I'd turned her down and forced my husband and sons to live in a cheap motel because I didn't like her.

My husband set the record straight, but MiL did not ease up. She made an official complaint to the fire department claiming that I had caused the accident purposefully to destroy the house and force the current situation. She said that I was money-hungry and had designs on her house and this was all part of my plan to steal her house from under her.

I was taken in for questioning and I understand why due to the nature of the allegations, but I was cleared of everything as the investigation proved it was an accident.

The shining ray of light through all this has been that this is the straw that broke the camel's back for my husband. We agreed we didn't want her in our lives anymore after these incidents, and we cut contact with her shortly before moving to our new place. She has been trying to get our address from family members, but she hasn't had any luck just yet. My husband made it clear that he'd have no problem cutting off anyone else in the family who gave her our address or contact information.

If she can't support us when we're at our worst, she doesn't deserve to be there when we're at our best.

This story is about my friend's MIL, and her wedding. Strap in guys, this is a wild ride in which I did THE THING that got me banned from any of her family functions.

A good friend of mine from university was getting married. They had been a couple since Junior year of college, through her 2 years in the peace corps and currently her return to this continent. 6 years in total. She had been to all manner of family functions and always came back with a strange story about how she thinks her MIL secretly hates her. But she being a very quiet and sweet person pushed those thoughts aside.

Point 1: She is vegetarian and Jewish, husband is not. She was invited and went to Christmas dinner and figured she would just eat sides, as well she brought a vegetarian casserole. MIL, after knowing her for THREE years, and being told by husband a few weeks before about not to forget friend doesn't eat meat... proceeded to put meat in every dish. Friend drank water and ate her casserole the whole night while MIL cried to everyone that friend was so rude for not eating her cooking.

Anyway, back to the story. A few friends and I were asked to be in the wedding. Friend has a HUGE family and so this was not going to be a small affair. Neither of them is particularly religious, but friend said it was would be nice to be married under a hoopa. (Think an arbor but 4 poles and covered with a white cloth and lots of flowers.) Husband said he could care less, and told her to go and rent one for the wedding.

I was at the bridal shower when MIL found out the "pretty canopy" was actually a hoopa. She almost lost her mind in front of a bunch of people, but managed to compose herself and laugh angrily that "if the Jews were being represented so would the catholics." In my head I heard a record screech, guys... they aren't catholic.

So after much fighting, a lot of screaming, crying, threatening to pull money (which is funny because she contributed nothing), MIL lost. The boot was firmly placed, and nothing was moving it. Hoopa yes, catholic priest no.

My friend texts me the night before the wedding that she has a bad feeling. I tell her it's probably just nerves, she is getting married and this is a big deal! Oh how wrong I was.

We all show up, get our hair and makeup done. Slip into our bridesmaid dresses and hang out waiting for the bride to be finished with her hair. She makes a comment saying she hadn't seen MIL all day and that she skipped her hair and makeup appointment. We all side-eyed each other, took a few sips and hoped the eerie feeling would go away.

30 minutes later as we are helping the bride into her dress, guess who shows up. If you guessed MIL, you win a cookie! Flushed from coming up the stairs, (she is not a light woman) in full hair and makeup... and a white dress. Not ivory, not cream, full snow white. It was clearly a wedding dress. Floor length satin with a sweet heart beaded top, a bit of a train and off white lace on the bottom. The dress was even tailored to her, this has been a long con she has orchestrated.

The bride burst into tears and aunts and friends ushered MIL out. We did our best to console the bride, touched up her makeup, and I made her a promise that the dress would never be seen in a photo. She looked me dead in the eye and nodded. The game was on.

The venue only supplied white wine and champagne for the wedding party. But I grabbed my purse and ran down into the reception area and managed to flag an attendant by the bar and bribe him with a cool $20 to give me a bottle of red early. I cracked the baby open, filled a solo cup to the brim with it and stalked outside. After a few swigs from the bottle for courage, I went over to where everyone was getting ready to take photos.

With one last hard stare at my friend, I got her nod of approval. I pulled out my phone, held it in front of my face like I was reading a text and walked straight into MIL. I poured the entire cup of red wine down the front of her dress, jumped back and gasped.

The look on her face was murderous. She screamed, yelled, threatened, and promised she would sue me. People had to hold her back because she wanted to fight me. Eventually she switched from screaming to sobbing and sank to the ground and threw a tantrum on the floor. Everyone moved back and just let her go at it and walked away to go take photos. It was surreal, as if everyone just hit their limit and noped out from around her. The 12-year-old flower girl whipped out her phone and snapped a few photos much to our amusement.

This is already super long, but I will say that MIL went home and changed (only 20 min from venue) into a nice dark green too small and low cut dress. Because of this she missed all of the photos. Wedding was beautiful; I got death glares from everyone she told that I attacked her with wine. Who cares? I drank and danced with friends. Bride thanked me in secret and 3 months later took me to the spa for a day of pampering. But I am officially "that evil woman" to MIL, and I'll take it with pride.