You say you're not easy, but all it takes is a flirty glance and a thoughtful compliment (that's, gasp, not about your looks!), and you've already fallen into the trap. Hook, line, and sinker. Of course, this isn't inherently your fault. Some men just seem to ooze charm. Unfortunately, that's exactly why womanizers are, well, called that way, because they're exceptionally skilled at making you feel like you're the center of their world—even though they actually have several other women in the rotation.
Thankfully, we've pinned down the most glaring signs to help you spot one in the crowd. Womanizers may be persuasive and charismatic, but to break the spell, you've got to find out how the magic trick works. Here are three signs that the guy you're seeing might be a playboy.
He's Excessively Flirtatious
While a little playfulness with other people isn't automatically a red flag—plenty of men are naturally warm and sociable—there's a difference in how it's done. A man can be friendly, sure, but if he's too friendly, you should stay on your toes. Listen to your gut. Keep an eye out particularly for men who constantly check out other women and like to tease, even though he's barely acquainted with them yet.
You might ask: why do womanizing men do this? The easy answer is that it's all about the rush of a new connection. He may chase that initial spark repeatedly because it feeds something in him that a single, stable relationship doesn't. After all, once he's succeeded once in luring a woman in, he's going to want to do it again, and again. But there's another reason: ego. Simply, it just feels good to flirt, and it's even better when the attention and attraction are reciprocated. Men will never turn away from that.
If you suspect a man, stranger or partner, is a playboy, watch how he behaves when he doesn't think you're paying close attention. Some men reserve their most obvious flirting tactics for when they think they'll go unnoticed, then snap back to a more prim and proper attitude if his partner notices. If a pattern like this keeps repeating, it's a big red flag.
He's Got a Reputation
How did your friends react when you mentioned him to them? Everybody has their own opinions, of course, but if the consensus seems to be "he's bad news," you might want to listen to that, even if he's charmed his way into your heart. After all, if he has a reputation, that means he's built up a track record of behavior that other people have witnessed firsthand. He might act "differently" with you, but that's probably just one of his tactics, and probably the same one he's used on every other woman he's met.
It also helps to pay attention to how well you actually know his social circle. Does he introduce you to his friends or does he keep you in the dark? Does he have disproportionately more female "friends"? Does he only allow you to meet his male acquaintances? Either way, you should know that a common sign among womanizers is that he might know everything about you while you don't know a thing about his life. This isn't mere coincidence: playboys often keep their social life secret so that the different women in his life don't cross paths. If months have gone by and you still haven't met the people closest to him, be wary.
He Has a History of Cheating
Another red flag that says a man is a womanizer? Not only do they have a reputation, but they're also known to cheat. You might think you can change him, but if a man has been unfaithful in many previous relationships, you're probably just another notch on his bedpost. Sorry.
But, you might argue, people can change. Surely a man who has found the right woman will eventually tire of his playboy ways? Well, research will show you that, while that's certainly possible, it's pretty rare: men cheat much more than women. That's not to say men never grow out of their womanizing ways, but again, good luck finding one who will settle for just one lady when he's used to stringing along many.
An even more concerning sign is when he lies about his history. If a man has both a flawed reputation and a track record of infidelity, never, ever listen to what he has to say to justify his actions. The only thing you should do is walk away. There are plenty more fish in the sea.
The Bottom Line
At the end of the day, every person is different. Most playboys may never break from their womanizing ways, but that's not to say some don't change for the better. And while none of these signs is necessarily proof on its own, when you see two or three overlapping (especially the last two), don't talk yourself out of it. You deserve a partner whose actions consistently back up his words. You deserve a man who only has eyes for you.
