20 Things Men Find Intimidating On A Date
That Girl is so Dangerous
What a woman might think is a cute quirk can actually be unbelievably intimidating to the man sitting across from her. While we usually focus on how women feel during a first encounter, men carry their own set of anxieties that can make a simple dinner feel like a high-stakes interview. With that in mind, here are 20 little things women do that make men anxious on dates.
1. Intense Eye Contact
Eye contact is important, but staring directly into his soul without blinking will probably make him uncomfortable. Let your gaze drift to other places every once in a while. You don’t want him to think you’re grilling him.
2. A Massive Professional Resume
Male egos can be delicate. Spending the first half of the date telling him about your climb to the top of the corporate ladder will only make him feel like he has to measure up. Share your achievements little by little so he has time to fall in love with more than just your accomplishments.
3. Talking About the Long-Term Future
Sure, you want to settle down someday, but talking about marriage and kids before dessert rolls around is bound to make him run for the hills. Even if he is ready for that next step, he doesn’t want to feel like you’re on a date to plan your life together. Slow down and take things one step at a time.
4. High-End Fashion Choices
Showing up at your casual date spot in a clubbing dress and sky-high heels can overwhelm him. He took you to a place where he feels comfortable. Don’t make him feel out of place by wearing something completely inappropriate for the setting.
5. Excessive Knowledge of His Past
Did you Google-stalk him? It’s okay, we all do it. But don’t mention that you know where he went to preschool. Bringing up something that he doesn’t know you know will creep him out. Allow him to tell you things about himself without being forced to react to your discoveries.
6. Extremely Sharp Wit
Men love funny girls. But if your humor is rooted in cruel sarcasm or rapid-fire goofiness, he may spend the entire night worried. Balancing your intelligence with a bit of warmth ensures that he feels like a partner in the joke rather than the punchline.
7. A Very Busy Social Calendar
It’s fine to mention that you have a busy life, but acting like you’re always going out of town for extravagant events will make him feel like he doesn’t have any space in your life. Try to show him that you are available and that you enjoy spending time with just him sometimes.
8. Direct Questions About Income
Don’t ask him how much money he makes or what his stocks are worth on the first date. He wants to know you care about him, not his income. Keep the conversation geared toward his interests and passions.
9. A Total Lack of Vulnerability
While no one wants to date someone who has many flaws, you don’t have to pretend to be Mother Teresa either. Let him know that you mess up sometimes, too, and that it’s perfectly okay. You are only human.
10. Bringing Up Ex-Partners
Comparing his behavior or his career to your ex creates an immediate sense of competition that most guys want to avoid. Even if you're saying something negative about your ex, the fact that he's still on your mind suggests there might be some lingering baggage. It’s always best to leave the ghosts of past relationships at the door.
11. An Entourage of Protective Friends
Mentioning that your brothers or best friends are "tough guys" who vet every man you date can feel like a direct threat. He wants to get to know you, not prepare for a physical or psychological evaluation. Allow him to focus on connecting with you and you alone.
12. Superior Culinary Knowledge
If you spend the entire dinner critiquing the drink’s acidity or the chef's choice of seasoning, he might be afraid to order anything himself. Being a foodie is great, but acting like a professional critic can make a simple meal feel like a test. Grabbing dinner and simply enjoying it allows both of you to keep things light and uncomplicated.
13. Very Expensive Taste
Ordering the most expensive item on the menu without hesitation can send a wave of panic through his wallet. Even if he’s happy to pay, he might worry that he won’t be able to keep up with your lifestyle requirements in the long run. Be conscious of what you order, and you’ll notice him relax.
14. Constant Phone Activity
Throwing out occasional questions while relentlessly checking Instagram isn’t a conversation. It makes him feel like he has to compete with your phone for your attention, and no guy wants to feel like he’s losing a battle before it’s even begun. So maybe leave the phone in your pocket.
15. A Master’s Degree in Everything
Education is important, but does he really need to be corrected on every little trivia question you ask during the date? If he mistakenly gets a fact about your venue wrong or mixes up the date of an event, let it slide. You both will have a much better time if you respect each other’s level of knowledge.
16. Overwhelming Self-Sufficiency
It is fantastic to be independent, but constantly reminding him that you "don't need anyone for anything" can leave him wondering why he's even there. Allow him to feel like he has a purpose, whether that be bringing over half of the groceries when cooking or giving you a back massage after a long day at work.
17. Extreme Fitness Requirements
Fitness is important, but taking him to the gym with you and letting him observe your hardcore workout routine is intimidating. He might worry that you’ll judge him for eating a burger or for wanting to relax on a Sunday morning. Talk about your healthy habits without expecting him to live by them as well.
18. Too Much Silence
While being a "mysterious woman" has its charms, long pauses where you offer very little feedback can make him feel like he’s performing a solo act. Speaking too little during a date will cause him to analyze everything he says. You can keep the energy high and his stress low by welcoming him to comment and contribute.
19. Strong Opinions on Everything
Unless he shares your beliefs, it can be difficult for him to voice his opinion around you. No man wants to feel like he failed your approval test by stating how he feels about a topic. Allow him to share his opinion without shutting him down.
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20. Predicting the Relationship Path
Mapping out exactly how the next few dates should go or when you expect a "serious" talk can be quite a lot to handle on day one. Most men don’t like to feel like you’re on a predetermined course that you’ve already planned out in your head. Sit back and relax on dates.
