Where Did the Love Go?
Relationships fizzle now and then—though it’s always best to part ways with someone you don’t belong with, it’s hard to know when exactly you’ve fallen out of love. They may be hard to admit in the moment, but here are some telltale signs things are amiss.
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1. Lack of Communication
It’s never a good sign when communication breaks down in a relationship. Dishonesty and apathy lead to all kinds of roadblocks, including more arguments or a total lack of interest in one another. Either is a recipe for disaster.
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2. No Intimacy
Lots of things impede time in the boudoir, but a lack of intimacy is an issue all its own. When the touching stops, when long nights of talking stop, you know there’s a problem. It’s only worse if you don’t actually miss the closeness.
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3. Depleted Love Life
While a lack of everyday intimacy dampens any relationship, a lack of adult time is another huge sign of lost love. Every couple has different love lives, and while frequency isn’t as important as consent or desire, a noticeable dip in time together spells trouble.
4. More Time Spent Apart
A little time apart isn’t inherently bad; healthy couples have their own friend groups and hobbies. However, relationships suffer when one-on-one time diminishes. If time together isn’t as fun as it used to be, or worse, you don’t care about time apart, it might be time to re-evaluate.
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5. You Don’t Envision the Future
You’re supposed to envision a life with your partner, whatever that entails. It’s a huge red flag when your future no longer includes them. If the thought of being together makes you feel hopeless, your relationship may have run its course.
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6. You’re More Irritable
Sometimes you can’t pinpoint what exactly isn’t working. Those pent-up emotions lead to more arguments, anger, and even lashing out. Taking frustrations out on your partner is never okay, but doing it without any discernible reason is even worse.
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7. There Aren’t Date Nights
Date nights don’t stop after several years together. That time together brings you closer and gives you a night out without the kids or life’s burdens. It’s always a bad sign if you intentionally forego them.
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8. You Complain About Them
We’ve all gabbed about our partners, but it’s different to complain about them constantly. If you can’t find one good thing to say about your person, you likely can’t find one good reason to stay with them either.
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9. You Don’t Argue Anymore
Contrary to popular belief, the occasional argument strengthens relationships. When you don’t butt heads, it’s often a sign you’d rather live in contempt than work things out. Unresolved molehills quickly fester into mountains.
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10. There’s Less Compassion
Gone are the days of you comforting your partner. You no longer care about their bad days or want to support them the way you used to. When basic support starts to feel like a burden, it’s usually a sign that love isn’t there anymore.
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11. You Look for Reasons to Escape
Healthy couples don’t want time away from each other. Whether you want to get away for the day or forever, it’s never a good sign to constantly plan escape routes.
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12. They’re Not in the Loop
You used to share big moments with your partner. But now, you have no interest in keeping them informed. Partners kept out of the loop are often partners you’re unhappy with.
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13. You’ve Fallen for Someone Else
Falling for someone new is a telltale sign you’re out of love. It’s one thing to innocently crush on celebrities or find someone attractive—but genuinely wanting another person is disastrous for your relationship.
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14. Change in Behavior
Partners know each other better than anyone, so it’s obvious when behaviors change. Have you stopped kissing them? Did everyday texts deteriorate into every other day? Dwindling affection means dwindling love.
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15. They Become Annoying
It’s one thing to have a bad day, it’s another to find your partner annoying altogether. Partners are support pillars, not irritants, and persistent upset means you don’t enjoy their company. If that’s the case, you need to look inward.
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16. The PDA Stopped
Not every couple indulges in PDA, but those that do notice when it ends. You likely don’t harbor the same affection if the public kissing and hand-holding stops.
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17. You’re Slower to Respond
Couples don’t need to text all the time—but they do need to communicate. You know your relationship’s on shaky ground when those daily texts become one-word replies.
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18. Compromise Isn’t a Thing
Relationships mean compromise and loving partners want to make an effort. On the other hand, those falling out of love don’t have the same desire to make it work. When the compromising stops, love isn’t far behind.
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19. You Have a Gut Feeling
We ought to trust our guts more often. Though we can’t always place what’s wrong, our guts know something’s up and they’re quick to tell us the tides have changed. Pay attention to that gnawing feeling.
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20. You Don’t Care if Things Improve
You don’t care if things get better. It doesn’t bother you that you don’t spend time together. Nothing matters because the relationship is pretty much shot. If you’ve ever had these thoughts, it’s probably time to walk away.
