It's Not Worth It
Love is great and all, but sometimes it's just not worth it. After all, as the saying goes, don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm. Many people stick around in ground-floor relationships, so deep in the weeds that they don't even notice all the problems...like being stuck with dead weight. Here are 20 signs that it's time to drop the load off your shoulders and move on.
1. Lack of Effort
Are you the one always making plans? When it's their birthday, do you pull out all the stops, pre-order the cake, and gift-wrap their presents? Well, it's time to ask yourself how often they return the favor.
2. No Personal Growth
Ambition is an important trait, whether it involves going to school, working hard at a promotion, or pursuing creative hobbies. On the other hand, if your partner is always stagnating, they're more likely to hold you back from your dreams, too.
3. Unfair Chore Division
This one's easy to spot. Take the time to evaluate the division of chores in your household—is it equal? Does your partner give as much as they take? If you're coming home after a nine-to-five only to prepare dinner, do the dishes, and throw in a load of laundry while they sit on the couch, it's a clear sign you're being used.
4. Taking You For Granted
Of course, you want to be there for your partner, but be wary of overdoing it. In a healthy relationship, your partner should express gratitude for your actions. Not only should they show appreciation, but they should also return the favor.
5. Undermining Your Success
Instead of celebrating your achievements, a deadweight partner is more likely to dismiss them altogether. Worse, they might downplay your accomplishments in front of friends and family, making sure everyone knows that they think they're better than you.
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6. Emotional Unavailability
When you're in need of support, they're nowhere to be found. In fact, they act extra distant when you're feeling vulnerable, as if your needs are an inconvenience. Next time you're going through an emotional crisis, keep a close eye on your partner's reaction.
7. Constant Criticism
Whether it's the way you dress, the type of job you have, or the fact that the carpet isn't vacuumed to their liking—these partners always have something to complain about. It's another control tactic, a way to keep you down so you never dare leave.
8. Neglecting Your Needs
Let's say it's time for dinner and you're craving pizza, but they want burgers. It's totally normal to give them a win from time to time, but how often does it go their way? If your needs always come second, it's a clear sign that your partner doesn't prioritize them.
9. Disrespect
Similar to criticism, keep an eye out for belittling comments. Whenever you get excited about something or express an opinion in a conversation, do you find them undermining you? Don't stand for the disrespect. You deserve so much better.
10. Inability to Compromise
It's their way or the highway, and the more you push, the more volatile they get. There's no room for negotiation with a deadweight partner, and after enough screaming matches, they'll make sure you think twice before questioning them.
11. Avoiding Conflict Resolution
Maybe they're not the type to scream or argue. Instead, they prefer to close off completely in an argument. If your partner isn't interested in addressing problems or resolving issues, it's definitely time to shed the weight. Relationships shouldn't be this hard.
12. Blame Shifting
Alternatively, if they do discuss problems, they make it clear that it's entirely your fault. These partners never accept responsibility—after all, why would they? In their eyes, they can do no wrong.
13. Lack of Support
When it comes to your own dreams and ambitions, they're strangely quiet if not outright discouraging. They don't support your hobbies, your interests, or your quirks. If you love collecting mugs and your partner rolls his eyes and complains about crowded cupboards, it shows you just how little he cares.
14. Poor Communication
Another tell-tale sign is avoiding meaningful conversation. They aren't interested in talking to you unless it serves their own purposes. If they do decide to talk to you, keep an ear out for what they're truly asking.
15. Selfish Behavior
You always find yourself coming second to their wants and needs. You're feeling tired, but they complain about being on their feet all day until you give them a foot rub. You have plans with friends, but they're suddenly feeling very lonely and need company watching their new show.
16. Emotionally Draining
In healthy relationships, partners think of one another and their future fondly, often daydreaming about activities they want to do or places they want to go. However, if you find yourself dreading coming home to them, or are anxious about an upcoming vacation, it's an indicator that your relationship is exhausting.
17. Inconsistent Effort
If your partner only puts effort in when it's convenient for them, whether that means they want something in return or they luckily share an interest, then that shows inconsistency. Recall how many times they put in effort for something solely to make you happy.
18. Disregarding Your Boundaries
It doesn't matter how many times you bring it up, whether it's a dislike for public affection or a disdain for certain cuisines—they simply don't care. If it's something they want to do, they'll push you into it.
19. No Future Planning
Hopefully, if you're in a long-term relationship, you have taken the time to talk about your future. On the other hand, if they avoid this topic altogether, or keep pushing milestones that you've been waiting for, it proves that they're just not on the same page.
20. Inconsistent Values
At the end of the day, if your core values don't align, it's important to take the effort to bridge these gaps. But if they're not willing to understand you or meet you halfway, it's better to let them go. You'll feel so much lighter afterward!
