Friendships are tricky. You can swear you know someone before a huge betrayal or lose touch with high school buddies you thought you'd have forever. Life may get in the way of a lot of things, but one relationship it won't break is the one between true friends. Here are 20 ways to know whether you've got a pal for life.
1. They Call You Out
True friends speak freely with each other, and a real friend will call you out when necessary. You should both be able to discuss inappropriate behavior without the relationship suffering.
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2. They Accept You
True friends accept you for all that you are. People are complicated, make mistakes, and can say things out of turn—but good friends welcome your entire personality.
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3. They Support You
One of the worst feelings is trying to share good news with someone who resents you for the success. But a genuine friend won't make you feel that way. True companions want you to thrive and are legitimately happy when you do.
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4. They Listen
We’ve all been there: you’re chatting with somebody and it’s obvious they aren’t listening. They either steer the conversation back to them or checked out halfway through your story. What hurts more is when that person is supposed to be your friend. Actual pals will listen without just waiting for their turn to speak.
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5. You Feel Safe
A cornerstone for true friendship is a sense of safety. With a genuine friend, you’ll always be encouraged to share openly without fear of ridicule.
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6. You Can Disagree
Just like with romantic partners, the odd disagreement is completely normal. It's important to remember that people have different opinions and should be able to move forward without resentment.
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7. They’re Present
Does your friend put their phone away when you're out at dinner? Do they ask follow-up questions or offer advice? Showing up with actions and words is the sign of a strong friendship, and a true pal devotes their time when you're one-on-one.
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8. You Enjoy the Silence
Not every second of time together needs idle chatter or awkward small talk. The best relationships allow space for both of you to comfortably enjoy the silence together.
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9. They Check In
Real friends keep up. They’ll ask how that meeting with your boss went or how you’re feeling after a breakup. They remember what's going on in your life and reach out first to let you know they're thinking of you.
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10. They Make Time
The older we get, the crazier life is—that’s just a fact. But true friends will always make time to see you. Whether it’s penciling you in a month from now or catching up in a video call, friends make time for friends amid life’s chaos.
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11. You Feel Comfortable
We all come with our fair share of unique personality traits. From everything like your little quirks right down to your biggest insecurities, real friends give you a safe space to feel loved and understood, no matter who you are.
12. They Let You Vent
Sometimes we just need to vent. In heat of the moment problems, we don't want a solution, we want someone to listen so we can blow off steam. Real friends give you the space for that without belittling your feelings.
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13.They Understand Your Schedule
With everything going on in our lives, it can be hard to meet up. However, those closest to you understand clashing schedules and don’t hold it against you if you can’t hang out right away.
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14. They’re Loyal
Loyal friends aren't only people who don't talk behind your back—loyal friends won’t let others do it either. If they defend you when you’re not in the room, you know you’ve got a real pal by your side.
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15. They Stick By You
Part of the beauty and terror of life is that we have no idea what’s coming. Neither do our friends, but the true ones stick with us through the hardest parts. Significant loss, rehabilitation, physical injuries...the list of curveballs life can throw goes on, but a real friend rides the storm with you.
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16. You Can Laugh With Them
Life is pretty empty without laughter, so doing so with those closest to you is a must. Regardless of how long you've known each other, authentic friendship comes hand-in-hand with laughter that's just as true.
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17. They Apologize
Apologies are hard and more than a little awkward. But real friends understand their mistakes and work to heal a relationship. The ability to move on from bumpy spots is an important feature of long-lasting friendships.
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18. They Keep Secrets
Honest friends listen intently and won't spread your secrets, even to other people in your friend group. It's not much of a friendship if you can't trust the other person and even one instance of broken trust can splinter things for good.
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19. They’re Independent
Friends are present through thick and thin, but real friends don't harbor unrealistic expectations. It's one thing to ask for advice, but if a friend only makes space for their problems or expects you to cater to every whim, it's not much of a back and forth.
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20. They're Dependable
You need to count on your friends. Will they help you move? Make time if you really need a shoulder to cry on? There's no better feeling in a friendship than knowing you can turn to someone who actively wants to hear from you.
