What Drives You Crazy in a Relationship
You might love your partner, but how much do you really love them? Do you love them enough to overlook the bad habits that really get under your skin? Even if these little things—not responding to texts, resorting to the silent treatment, forgetting important dates—don't seem like dealbreakers at first, they can eventually add up. We're all only human, but sometimes, there's only so much we can put up with. Here are 20 pet peeves that can seriously ruin a relationship.
1. Not Responding to Texts or Calls
Sure, maybe you don't always have the time to respond immediately to your partner's texts and calls, but if you're constantly unresponsive, that will only cause a rift to form. After all, all this does is show a lack of respect and interest, which is why it's unsurprisingly one of the biggest relationship pet peeves.
2. Using the Silent Treatment
Resorting to the silent treatment during conflicts and arguments doesn't make for healthy communication—or a healthy relationship. It just shows that you don't know how to express your feelings or talk through them in a mature way. It also makes you seem like a petulant child.
3. Constantly Being Late
No one wants to be in a relationship with someone unreliable or who's constantly late. Even if you're tardy by just 5-10 minutes, these minutes can quickly add up and make your partner feel under-appreciated.
4. Being Too Close with an Ex
Are you—or your partner—hanging too closely around an ex? Sure, there might be no lingering feelings between you both and you're just good friends now, but it's no surprise that it'll still raise an eyebrow or two or make your partner feel wary and uncomfortable.
5. Not Listening Attentively
Do you listen intently when your partner is telling you about their day? Even if you're maintaining eye contact, the effort doesn't mean anything if every word they're saying is going in one ear and out the other. It'll only make them feel like they're not worth paying attention to.
6. Leaving Dirty Clothes & Dishes Piled Everywhere
No one wants to date a slob. If you—or your partner—leaves clothes strewn about and dirty dishes and laundry piled high like they're meant to be someone else's problem, this is the kind of bad habit that can ruin an otherwise healthy relationship.
7. Criticizing in Public
Nobody wants to be criticized in public, especially when the tone comes off more belittling and patronizing than helpful. Even if it's meant as a joke or a teasing jab at first, if your partner doesn't find it amusing but embarrassing instead, it's a sign to stop.
8. Bad Hygiene
It's not that you need to constantly smell like you just doused yourself with cologne or perfume, but if you're not keeping at least some basic good hygiene habits, you're not just grossing out your partner—you're giving them a reason to dump you. Taking a shower and wearing clean clothes is a must before a date, especially if you're coming from the gym.
9. Constantly on the Phone
How often are you—or your partner—on the phone when it's supposed to be a quiet, distraction-free dinner? Probably more often than you'd like to admit, right? Sure, sometimes you might have an urgent work email to respond to, but if it happens all the time, it can cause a rift in your relationship.
10. Comparing Your Relationship to Others'
Just as every person is different, every relationship is, too. When you're always hung up on comparing the little things others do for their partners, you might only see cracks where there aren't. Remember: just because something works for another couple, that doesn't mean it will work for you.
11. Saying "I'm Fine" When Not
We're probably all guilty of saying this classic line. But when you're in a relationship, saying "I'm fine" when you're not only leads to further communication issues. Building up these walls and hiding your vulnerabilities will only make it harder to establish honesty and trust.
12. Oversharing Relationship Drama
It's one thing to share your relationship issues with close friends and family members, but it's another thing to air out all your drama with anyone willing to hear. If you or your partner is constantly detailing your rocky situation to coworkers and strangers, it's no surprise that it can end up widening the rift even further.
13. Never Apologizing
If you or your partner is in the wrong, it's important to admit fault and apologize. Staying stubborn and refusing to say sorry can snowball a small conflict into a bigger problem, and make you seem self-righteous and arrogant—traits that nobody likes, especially in a relationship.
14. Bad Manners
Even if your partner is super sweet and kind to you, if they're a jerk to everyone else, it's probably pretty telling that they're not the most respectful, well-mannered person out there. It can be even more embarrassing when they make a scene in public, such as shouting at service workers.
15. Being Overly Controlling
Picture this: you're dressed up for the night to go to dinner with an old college classmate, but your partner decides, last-minute, that you need to cancel your plans. Your first reaction is to probably recoil in disbelief, right? After all, jealousy is one thing, but being overly controlling is something that can turn a relationship into a toxic one.
16. Leaving the Toilet Seat Up
If you or your partner constantly leaves the seat up after using the bathroom, even after being told multiple times to set it back down, it can really start to grind some gears. Even if you don't think it's a big deal, it's still good manners and courtesy to put the landing pad down.
17. Not Giving Input on Important Decisions
If your partner leaves all the decision-making up to you, it can put far more pressure and responsibility on you than you were expecting or hoping. Sure, if it's just about what you're eating for dinner, it might not warrant two thinking heads; but if it's something more important, like budgeting your monthly expenses or buying a new home, no one wants a partner who doesn't give any input.
18. Loud Chewing
Bad table manners, like loud chewing, might not be a dealbreaker for some, but it can be extremely unpleasant for others. Think about it: what if you're introducing your partner to your family for the first time, and they start munching noisily with their maw open, saying, "It's nice to meet you, too"? Not a great first impression.
19. Acting Differently Around Others
How do you or your partner act when it's just you two, versus when you're around others? If your personality changes depending on the group you're hanging around, that switch-up in behavior and attitude can be extremely off-putting, especially if you go from super sweet to distant.
20. Forgetting Important Dates
There's nothing more frustrating than when your partner forgets important dates. Whether it's a special dinner that's been on the calendar for weeks or a milestone anniversary, nobody wants to be in a relationship with someone who constantly needs to be reminded of important moments. It just makes it seem like they don't care.
