You'll Never Find The One With A Page Like That
There’s no way around it—online dating is rough. Constant competition, ghosting, inappropriate icebreakers, the list goes on for glaring problems. That said, online dating is a two-way street, and you could very well be guilty of some red flags, even if you don’t mean to be. Let's explore some huge mistakes to avoid in the future.
1. Having an Empty Page
Depending on which dating site you use, the introductory prompts can be overwhelming. It’ll take some time to thoroughly fill out your profile, but it’s a necessary commitment. Profiles with little to no information don’t give potential partners much to go on. Not to mention, you could easily get dismissed as spam.
2. Bad Openers
It’s best to avoid generic openers. Small talk in-person isn't the same as small talk online; the apps are flooded with competition, so you need to stand out. If your opener looks like you’ve sent it to 20 people, chances are the receiver thinks the same. It's also disrespectful to the other person, especially if they put a lot of thought into their profile.
3. Lewd Introductions
Speaking of bad openers, don’t say something slimy right from the jump. You don’t know each other and inappropriate introductions will probably get ignored or blocked. Women also deal with gross messages every day, so you might even get reported—and who could blame them?
4. Redirect to Other Apps
It's never fun to chat with someone new on a dating app, but avoid redirecting them to other sites. A lot of people consider the prompt a huge red flag, especially if you have a Snapchat link in your bio. We all know what that means, and no one wants to deal with it.
5. Only Having One Photo
You need more than one photo on your profile. People want a clear idea of who they’re talking to, and having one photo looks like phishing or some kind of scam. It also doesn't portray the most accurate picture (pun intended).
6. Being Overly Eager
People are busy, so it's unfair to expect an immediate response. Two-week radio silence is one thing, but give people the benefit of the doubt if you don’t hear back right away. Incessant follow-up messages can make you look impatient. Worse still, they can make you look aggressive.
7. Talking About Your Ex
Contrary to popular belief, you don't need to shy away from ex-talk altogether. However, you shouldn't bash old flames to potential new ones. Constant insults say more about you than it does them, and to some people, it signals that you're not actually over a breakup.
8. Selfish Discussion
Communication goes both ways, and even small talk deserves proper etiquette. Avoid talking about yourself nonstop. Ask the other person about their life, hobbies, and profile to show you have a genuine interest. That kind of immediate courtesy sets the tone for the whole relationship!
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9. Cruising for Options
It's never a good sign when an old match randomly resurfaces. Most dating app veterans know what that means: they burned through a "better option" and now they're back to try their luck with someone new. People don't want to feel like a second choice, so dedicate yourself to those you're interested in.
10. Sending Unsolicited Photos
It's hard to believe this still happens, but it does! Repeat after us: don’t ask strangers for inappropriate photos. Don’t send unsolicited photos either. Dirty texts can happen gradually, once you're comfortable with each other and build up enough trust to take the leap.
11. A Jaded Profile
Online dating is competitive, full of arbitrary rules, and time-consuming. It’s easy to feel jaded after a while. But when those feelings trickle into your profile, it can turn people off. If need be, take a break from online dating so negativity doesn’t hurt your chances.
12. Writing a List of Demands
Does your profile have a laundry list of demands? That's a quick swipe. Having an idea of what you like is one thing—discarding anyone who doesn’t measure up to unrealistic standards is another. If you have too many on your profile, it could indicate that you're a little burned out and need a break.
13. Not Meeting in Person
The goal of online dating is to find someone you like, and that means in-person dates. We know it's scary to meet someone new, but you can always set boundaries to keep yourself safe. Public spaces, daytime hours, and friends on standby all make it easier! If you’ve built a solid foundation and still don’t meet up, it’s easy for someone to lose interest.
14. One-Word Responses
A conversation goes nowhere if you only reply with one word. Ideally, your match has enough profile information to spark a proper conversation; one-word replies make you look uninterested. It's also a good way to get ghosted!
15. Sending Warnings
Even if you’re joking, when you “warn” someone about your personality, they’ll take it seriously. At the end of the day, it’s not a risk people want to take, so consider switching up your strategy.
16. Generic Personality Traits
Loving The Office isn’t the conversation starter you think it is. It's the same with being a coffee-lover or “fluent in sarcasm.” Even if it’s true, personality traits like these are a dime a dozen, and people tend to swipe if you blend into the crowd.
17. Inconsistency
We all have lives outside of online dating, but if you truly like a person, you’ll make time for them. Dipping in and out of conversations isn’t a good look, so if you want to show true interest, consistent communication is the way to go.
18. Disrespecting Boundaries
A person draws lines in the sand for a reason. If you push boundaries or outright disrespect them, don’t expect anything good to come out of it. You wouldn't like it if someone crossed your lines, so don't do it to others!
19. Financial Requests
In a world full of scams, asking for money is an awful idea. The same goes for questions about how much a person makes. Most people report profiles with any fishy behavior, so you may even get slapped with a violation on the app.
20. Being Overly Keen
Compliments are nice, but too many rapid-fire or an “I love you” after two weeks signal love-bombing, a common manipulation technique. Even if you sincerely meant your flattery, it could come off as impending emotional abuse.
