Leave The Bachelor Behavior Behind
When you enter a marriage, it’s time to let go of all those single-guy behaviors. You’re merging your life with a whole other person, and there might not be time or space for certain habits anymore.
1. Making Decisions Alone
As a single man, you were wholly responsible for everything from where you live to how you dress. But marriage is a partnership and it’s time to let those ideas go. Now, every decision is a discussion, and you’ve got to plan for more than just yourself!
2. Mom Boundaries
For the men who grew up absolutely loving and worshipping their mothers, it can be a bit hard to get out from under their control. If your mom is struggling to let you go and is worse, clashing with your wife, it’s important to set firm boundaries. Remember, your wife and you are building your own independent future together, and that should come first.
Xavier Mouton Photographie on Unsplash
3. Jealousy
When you’re initially dating someone, it’s easy to get a bit jealous. After all, your relationship isn’t established yet, and they could be talking to other people for all you know. But once you’re married, you need to trust this person is locked in and stop the possessive behavior—that is, unless they give you a reason to think otherwise.
4. Guy Time
This is a hard one for most people, but when you enter a marriage, you need to reshuffle your priorities. It’s absolutely okay to have time set aside for the boys, but you should never let it get in the way of other responsibilities.
5. Big Solo Purchases
As you merge finances with another person, it’s important to set boundaries about solo purchases and spending limits. For instance, you might not have to ask them twice about grabbing takeout on the way home. But if you plan on buying a new car or expensive skis, then you better check in.
6. Intense Gaming
Gaming is a perfectly fine hobby that lots of people of both genders have. But once you’re in a marriage, it’s important to make sure gaming isn’t consuming all your time. Maybe it was okay to play from dusk till dawn when you were solo, but now you have to make sure you also have time for your other responsibilities too.
7. Partying
If you spent your younger adult days partying, then this can be a hard habit to shake when you’re older. Perhaps your partner is totally okay with it and wants to join you—if so, that’s great. However, if your partner has concerns about late-night partying or being out getting wasted, then that’s something you should leave in the past.
8. Keeping Tabs
As a single adult, the only person you had to report to was yourself. But now that you’re married, it’s perfectly normal to keep each other posted about your day. Tell your partner where you’re going and when you’ll get back, this way they can plan accordingly and won’t worry about you.
9. Being MIA
Speaking of keeping tabs, being unreachable is a thing of the past now. Of course, you can tell your partner when you need alone time, but ignoring your phone and leaving your partner wondering where you are for days on end isn’t acceptable anymore.
10. Oversharing
When you’re early into a relationship, it’s normal to seek out advice from friends and share the dirtier details. But now you’re married, and there needs to be a basis of respect for both of you. So be careful not to overshare relationship details with friends and family, as it may violate their trust.
11. Acting Like A Roommate
Perhaps you’ve lived with someone before, so you have a good idea of what being a roommate is like. But marriage isn’t the same—you can’t ignore messes or dodge shares or do things without coordinating with the other person anymore.
12. Stud Vibes
As a young single man, it might be fun to collect beer bottles or sport memorabilia. You might even like neon signs and sitting in front of the TV with just a lawn chair. But as you blend into a family, it may be time to let those bachelor pad aesthetics go.
13. Flirting With Others
Unless you and your partner have discussed it beforehand, it’s usually not okay to flirt with other people. That means it might be time to delete certain numbers from your phone.
14. Just Looking
When you lived alone, there was no one around to see what you were doing or watching. Unless your partner is okay with it, it can be hurtful to look at certain pictures or videos, and can feed into the other person’s insecurities.
15. Being Lazy
When you lived by yourself, it was okay to sleep in or push laundry, or let the pile of dishes in the sink grow. After all, you only had to answer to yourself. But now these stalling behaviors can impact another person, especially if they have high standards for cleanliness.
16. Hiding Money
If you grew up stashing money away for a rainy day, let your partner know. Don’t just take a twenty here and there and move it around. Even if your intentions are good, financial openness is key.
17. Risky Behavior
When you’re in a marriage, it’s important to realize that your actions impact another person. This means if you do things like eat super unhealthy, try risky stunts, or even speed when driving, you’re putting your entire household at risk. Your life is merged with a whole other person now, so keep them in mind.
18. Playing It By Ear
It might be easy to go with the flow when you’re single, but that changes when you’re managing two lives. Now you might need to think about calendars, meal planning, and making sure you coordinate chores.
19. Unrealistic Expectations
In most cases, the traditional version of marriage where the woman solely takes care of the man is unrealistic. This is because household responsibilities are often too overwhelming for one person, especially if both are working. So be sure to coordinate expectations. Remember, it’s a partnership, not a dependency.
20. Refusing to Merge
Commitment can be scary for a lot of men, but resisting or refusing to merge lives can cause more harm than good. Trying to keep schedules, social circles, and bank accounts separate when you’re married will only lead to a lack of unity and integration.
