Whether you're with someone new or dating someone for a while, there are always major red flags you should be looking out for. Don't give in to the "Honeymoon Phase" and let things slide - if your partner is mistreating you in any way, you need to approach it seriously! Here are 20 bad behaviours to keep an eye on, because they're ones that will instantly reveal your partner's true colours.
1. Rudeness to Service Staff
One thing you should always watch out for is how your partner acts around service staff. If you see them regularly treating customer service workers, waiters, and others with disrespect, it's a big red flag that might indicate your partner's true personality. It shows they have a lack of empathy and a sense of entitlement, reflecting how they view and treat others who have a perceived lesser status.
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2. Gossiping About You
Sharing personal details about you or your relationship without your consent to others, whether it be friends, families, or coworkers, is a major breach of trust. It means they're intentionally doing it behind your back and don't want you to know, showcasing an ugly side to their personality. This behaviour not only disrespects your privacy, but also shows a lack of loyalty and integrity.
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3. Ignoring Your Boundaries
If you and your partner have had talks about your personal boundaries, and then they go and completely disregard them, it's a sign you should stay away. Whether it be in a public, social, or private setting, it demonstrates that they don't care about your comfort or autonomy. This behaviour is especially dangerous because it can escalate into something where they cross even more significant lines.
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4. Public Criticism
Seriously criticizing you in front of others, be it friends, family, or strangers, is demeaning and awfully disrespectful. It's a terrible behaviour that will undermine your confidence and is meant to assert their dominance. That's not something that should ever exist in a safe, loving relationship.
5. Making Decisions Without You
Do you find that your partner is making decisions that affect the both of you without consulting you first? While you might ignore it at first, it reveals that your partner doesn't believe in equality in the relationship and that their voice matters more than yours. Any healthy relationship will always value both side's opinions and preferences.
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6. Flirting with Others
No, it's not okay to flirt when you're in a relationship with someone. Flirting with others is a big red flag, especially if they're doing it in your presence. It's not only disrespectful, but it's also an attempt to bring out jealousy and insecurity in you.
7. Invalidating Your Feelings
Telling you that you're overreacting or dismissing your feelings, especially when it comes to social situations, is a serious form of emotional invalidiation. It shows that they really have a lack of empathy and support, two traits that should always exist in a happy and healthy relationship.
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8. Talking Over You
Don't let something you think is small, like having your partner consistently talk over you in conversations, slide. It's rude, diminishes your voice and opinions, and reveals that they doesn't respect you or your contributions.
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9. Excessive Jealousy
Irrational jealousy and possessiveness is a dangerous trait. If they start accusing you of flirting or being too friendly with others, take it as a major red flag. This behaviour often stems from your partner's own personal insecurities, but it can be damaging on the relationship and lead to controlling and abusive dynamics.
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10. Lack of Support for Your Ambitions
Your ambitions and accomplishments matter - and they should be celebrated by your partner! If you find your partner doesn't care about your achievements, it might reveal a side to them you never knew. It's poor behaviour that can stem from jealousy or a desire to keep you from achieving your potential.
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11. Constant Interruptions
Who would want to tell a story if someone keeps cutting you off? If your partner repeatedly interrupts you while you're speaking or doesn't allow you to finish, it's similar to talking over you - it shows they have a lack of respect for your thoughts and voice. To put it simply, it shows they don't care about what you have to say!
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12. Neglecting Your Needs
Consistently ignoring your needs, whether emotional, physical, or otherwise, especially in public, indicates a self-centered attitude. This lack of consideration can lead to feelings of loneliness and unimportance within the relationship.
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13. Disrespecting Your Friends and Family
A good partner will never speak ill or be disrespectful to the people you hold dearest like your friends and family. Speaking negatively about them can reveal to you their lack of respect for your life outside the relationship. It's also just incredibly rude.
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14. Refusing to Apologize
Always take responsibility when you know you made a mistake or are in the wrong. It's an important action that keeps relationships happy and healthy. So if you find your partner always fails to own up to their faults, it's a clear sign that they're arrogant and immature. All it'll do is prevent you from growing and healing.
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15. Using Humiliation as a Tool
Your partner will really show their true colours if they use humiliation as a tool against you. Humiliating you in front of others, whether it's through jokes, comments, or revealing personal information, is more than bad - it's a form of emotional abuse. It's behaviour meant to control and ruin your self-esteem.
16. Showing Disinterest in Your Interests
Showing a blatant disinterest or mocking your hobbies and interests, especially in social settings, signifies a lack of support and understanding. This behavior can make you feel undervalued and discourage you from pursuing your passions.
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17. Failing to Defend You
Not standing up for you when others speak negatively or act disrespectfully towards you reveals a lack of loyalty and support. This behavior can make you question your partner's commitment to your well-being and the relationship. Would you really want to be with someone like that?
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18. Making You the Butt of the Joke
It's one thing if it happens once or twice and is genuinely funny, but if your partner consistently uses you as the subject of jokes, there's clearly something up. All it does is make you feel more insecure, creating an environment of disrespect in the relationship. Partners should always lift each other up, not tear each other down. While of course it's okay to joke with one another, it's different when they take it one step too far.
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19. Ignoring Your Accomplishments
Downplaying or ignoring your achievements, especially when others acknowledge them, reflects jealousy or insecurity. Recognizing and celebrating each other's successes strengthens a relationship's bond and shouldn't be overlooked. It's a bad behaviour on their part and needs to be dealt with seriously.
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20. Dismissing Your Concerns About the Relationship
If you step up and decide to voice concerns about your relationship, having your partner dismiss or ridicule them is incredibly demeaning and inconsiderate. It's one easy way to show that they're not committed or hate resolving issues, leaving you feel undervalued and underappreciated.
