Today’s dating scene is overrun with unrealistic expectations. From assuming all women aspire to motherhood to dismissing men shorter than six feet, here are some of the craziest standards on both sides.
1. “Perfect” Physique
Women have been victimized by the “perfect physique” for decades—from what they should eat right down to their waistline, society’s expectations are cruel and unusual. To make matters worse, some men still think it’s appropriate to criticize a woman’s appearance and exacerbate the standard.
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2. Motherhood
It’s great if you and your partner consensually agree to start a family. That said, not every woman wants one and it’s high time to drop the expectation. More than ever, women chase after their work or travel goals and don’t feel like sitting around with a baby.
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3. Constant Happiness
“You should smile more!” It’s a popular sentiment women deal with all the time, this constant need to be perky and live for society. Women don’t live to please anyone—they’re allowed to have bad days or voice their concerns, and thinking they shouldn’t is straight-up bizarre.
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4. Post-Pregnancy Bounce Back
Your partner needs significant time to recover after pregnancy and childbirth. No, they shouldn’t make dinner every night. No, they shouldn’t hop back into bed. No, their lives won’t snap back to normal. Some don’t support women on the road to recovery, they force them down the path.
5. Unlimited Patience
We’re all human and we all make mistakes. Persistent mistakes, however, are cause for concern in any relationship, and it’s unrealistic to expect eternal patience. From weaponized incompetence to ignoring her feelings, some men seem to think women will put up with anything.
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6. Submission
It’s an archaic belief, but one that’s very much alive—women shouldn’t stand up for themselves. Some think women should “learn to take a compliment” or give all their attention to a “nice guy” at the bar, but women don’t owe anyone anything.
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7. Forever Young
As if holding the “perfect” body over their heads wasn’t enough, women are also expected to maintain eternal youth. Women tend to uphold a vigorous skincare routine only for it to still not be enough sometimes. People should be allowed to age gracefully, no matter who they are!
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8. “Superwoman”
Some women are expected to play every role—the breadwinner, the caretaker, the selfless lover—all without any help. Women aren’t machines and parenthood is a two-way street. Heck, even childless relationships need equal compromise and dedication. The onus shouldn’t be put on women to take care of everything.
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9. Deal With His Family
Monsters-in-law drive families apart all the time, so tackle animosity head-on. Even if your partner hasn’t explicitly diagnosed the problem, it’s obvious when family members mistreat the newcomer. It’s important to show support, not let mistreatment happen.
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10. Single Parenting
Parenting requires teamwork, and some partners didn’t get the memo. Some people expect women to do it alone, on top of chores and money management and cooking, and everything else.
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All that said, women aren't off the hook with their expectations.
1. Be a Giant
Men shorter than six feet need not apply…apparently. Men can’t control their height and dismissing them on such arbitrary grounds is hurtful. We all like what we like, sure, but give that short king a chance.
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2. “I Can Fix Him”
Nope. People are partners, not projects—walking into a relationship with the sole purpose of “changing” someone only leads to hurt feelings. There’s a big difference between encouraging the best in someone and wanting somebody else entirely.
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3. Earn a Lot, Work a Little
Some women have an unfortunate belief that men should bring home all the money without working too hard. The thing is, top-paying careers can eat up a schedule and those who bring home the bacon are often busier longer, too.
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4. Read Their Minds
Men have no idea what their partners want without explicit communication. It’s one thing for partners to blatantly ignore the other, but it’s another when they’re deliberately kept in the dark. Tell your partner what you need!
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5. Constant Entertainer
Some men are treated as the happy-go-lucky party clown, both by partners and their friends. Not everyone wants to play entertainer all the time, though, and that role can easily make someone feel isolated. People want their down time, so don’t pressure someone to be the life of the party every time.
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6. Be a Dynamo in Bed
Whether adult entertainment is to blame or unrealistic portrayals, some women want gods in bed. There’s no shame in liking certain things, but it’s unfair to dismiss (or even shame) someone who can’t live up to that smut novel.
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7. "Perfect" Looks
Men can suffer from unrealistic beauty standards the same as women. Though more women are willing to embrace the “dad bod,” others demand Herculean physiques. Those beauty standards can also extend to men’s hair or their skin, meaning unrealistic standards harm everyone.
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8. Make the First Move
For some reason, most men are expected to open the conversation, ask someone out, make the first move, etc. Treating courtship as a one-way street can make someone lose interest, or worse, think you’re not interested in them.
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9. 24/7 Attention
Everyone needs time to themselves, but some girlfriends want 24/7 attention. Partners can’t drop everything to hang out or answer phone calls right away—and that shouldn’t be a problem.
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10. Always Thinking
It can be annoying when men say they weren’t thinking about anything—it’s easy to assume they’re hiding something or being deliberately cagey, but most men mean it. They have this amazing ability to unplug without a care, or thought, in the world, so try not to take it personally.
