10 Unrealistic Standards Men Have For Women & Vice Versa

10 Unrealistic Standards Men Have For Women & Vice Versa

Today’s dating scene is overrun with unrealistic expectations. From assuming all women aspire to motherhood to dismissing men shorter than six feet, here are some of the craziest standards on both sides.

1. “Perfect” Physique 

Women have been victimized by the “perfect physique” for decades—from what they should eat right down to their waistline, society’s expectations are cruel and unusual. To make matters worse, some men still think it’s appropriate to criticize a woman’s appearance and exacerbate the standard. 

Clarke-Sanders-Ybpj47Pmt M-UnsplashPhoto by Clarke Sanders on Unsplash

2. Motherhood 

It’s great if you and your partner consensually agree to start a family. That said, not every woman wants one and it’s high time to drop the expectation. More than ever, women chase after their work or travel goals and don’t feel like sitting around with a baby.

Neal-E-Johnson-Ilnkpdi0Pzg-UnsplashPhoto by Neal E. Johnson on Unsplash

3. Constant Happiness

“You should smile more!” It’s a popular sentiment women deal with all the time, this constant need to be perky and live for society. Women don’t live to please anyone—they’re allowed to have bad days or voice their concerns, and thinking they shouldn’t is straight-up bizarre. 

Allef-Vinicius-Oe 03B2Q5A4-UnsplashPhoto by Allef Vinicius on Unsplash

4. Post-Pregnancy Bounce Back

Your partner needs significant time to recover after pregnancy and childbirth. No, they shouldn’t make dinner every night. No, they shouldn’t hop back into bed. No, their lives won’t snap back to normal. Some don’t support women on the road to recovery, they force them down the path. 

Olliss-Aitgs-Bi7Io-UnsplashPhoto by Olliss on Unsplash


5. Unlimited Patience

We’re all human and we all make mistakes. Persistent mistakes, however, are cause for concern in any relationship, and it’s unrealistic to expect eternal patience. From weaponized incompetence to ignoring her feelings, some men seem to think women will put up with anything. 

Pexels-Odonata-Wellnesscenter-48563-226166Photo by Odonata Wellnesscenter on Pexels

6. Submission

It’s an archaic belief, but one that’s very much alive—women shouldn’t stand up for themselves. Some think women should “learn to take a compliment” or give all their attention to a “nice guy” at the bar, but women don’t owe anyone anything. 

Pexels-Timur-Weber-8560432Photo by Timur Weber on Pexels

7. Forever Young

As if holding the “perfect” body over their heads wasn’t enough, women are also expected to maintain eternal youth. Women tend to uphold a vigorous skincare routine only for it to still not be enough sometimes. People should be allowed to age gracefully, no matter who they are!

Pexels-Tima-Miroshnichenko-7607774Photo by Tima Miroshnichenko on Pexels

8. “Superwoman”

Some women are expected to play every role—the breadwinner, the caretaker, the selfless lover—all without any help. Women aren’t machines and parenthood is a two-way street. Heck, even childless relationships need equal compromise and dedication. The onus shouldn’t be put on women to take care of everything.  

Pexels-Ketut-Subiyanto-4474040Photo by Ketut Subiyanto on Pexels

9. Deal With His Family

Monsters-in-law drive families apart all the time, so tackle animosity head-on. Even if your partner hasn’t explicitly diagnosed the problem, it’s obvious when family members mistreat the newcomer. It’s important to show support, not let mistreatment happen. 

Pexels-Cottonbro-6053897Photo by cottonbro studio on Pexels

10. Single Parenting

Parenting requires teamwork, and some partners didn’t get the memo. Some people expect women to do it alone, on top of chores and money management and cooking, and everything else.  

Alexander-Dummer-Uh-Xs-Fiztk-UnsplashPhoto by Alexander Dummer on Unsplash

All that said, women aren't off the hook with their expectations.


1. Be a Giant

Men shorter than six feet need not apply…apparently. Men can’t control their height and dismissing them on such arbitrary grounds is hurtful. We all like what we like, sure, but give that short king a chance. 

Tim-Mossholder-Qvwwqwqe7Ao-UnsplashPhoto by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

2. “I Can Fix Him”

Nope. People are partners, not projects—walking into a relationship with the sole purpose of “changing” someone only leads to hurt feelings. There’s a big difference between encouraging the best in someone and wanting somebody else entirely. 

Pexels-Ketut-Subiyanto-4308049Photo by Ketut Subiyanto on Pexels

3. Earn a Lot, Work a Little

Some women have an unfortunate belief that men should bring home all the money without working too hard. The thing is, top-paying careers can eat up a schedule and those who bring home the bacon are often busier longer, too. 

Tim-Van-Der-Kuip-Cps2X8Jyms8-UnsplashPhoto by Tim van der Kuip on Unsplash

4. Read Their Minds

Men have no idea what their partners want without explicit communication. It’s one thing for partners to blatantly ignore the other, but it’s another when they’re deliberately kept in the dark. Tell your partner what you need!

Pexels-Keira-Burton-6147236Photo by Keira Burton on Pexels

5. Constant Entertainer

Some men are treated as the happy-go-lucky party clown, both by partners and their friends. Not everyone wants to play entertainer all the time, though, and that role can easily make someone feel isolated. People want their down time, so don’t pressure someone to be the life of the party every time.   

Jakob-Owens-Qofqxxuk3Qy-UnsplashPhoto by Jakob Owens on Unsplash

6. Be a Dynamo in Bed

Whether adult entertainment is to blame or unrealistic portrayals, some women want gods in bed. There’s no shame in liking certain things, but it’s unfair to dismiss (or even shame) someone who can’t live up to that smut novel. 

Julissa-Santana-7Q1Bsmogoms-UnsplashPhoto by Julissa Santana on Unsplash


7. "Perfect" Looks 

Men can suffer from unrealistic beauty standards the same as women. Though more women are willing to embrace the “dad bod,” others demand Herculean physiques. Those beauty standards can also extend to men’s hair or their skin, meaning unrealistic standards harm everyone. 

Alexander-Redl-D3Bymnz0Ank-UnsplashPhoto by Alexander Redl on Unsplash

8. Make the First Move

For some reason, most men are expected to open the conversation, ask someone out, make the first move, etc. Treating courtship as a one-way street can make someone lose interest, or worse, think you’re not interested in them. 

Jed-Villejo-Rf1Lztny6Fc-UnsplashPhoto by Jed Villejo on Unsplash

9. 24/7 Attention

Everyone needs time to themselves, but some girlfriends want 24/7 attention. Partners can’t drop everything to hang out or answer phone calls right away—and that shouldn’t be a problem. 

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10. Always Thinking

It can be annoying when men say they weren’t thinking about anything—it’s easy to assume they’re hiding something or being deliberately cagey, but most men mean it. They have this amazing ability to unplug without a care, or thought, in the world, so try not to take it personally. 

Karl-Fredrickson-Dsajh9B24G8-UnsplashPhoto by Karl Fredrickson on Unsplash