Marriage is one of life’s most rewarding experiences, but that doesn’t mean it’s always easy. All kinds of problems can drive a wedge between you and your spouse, and when left unaddressed can also lead to disaster. Here are 10 common marital issues and 10 ways you can help to fix them.
1. No Communication
If you can’t speak to your life partner, who can you speak to? Problems arise when communication breaks down between you and your spouse, so avoid letting it get to that point. If you notice that you aren’t as open anymore, delve into why.
2. Lack of Teamwork
Lifelong partners are exactly that—partners. If one does all the chores or is a borderline single parent, the lack of teamwork causes all kinds of issues. It’s easy for resentment to creep in, which snowballs into no communication or further grudges.
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3. Everyday Stress
Stress is part of everyday life, but it’s a greater issue when it impacts a marriage. If you snap at your partner or get overwhelmed easily, communicate your stress instead. It’s much better to keep a partner in the loop than to leave them wondering why you’re distant.
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4. Packed Schedules
Just about anything can eat up our time, from night classes to parenting to our jobs. The trick is to still make time for your partner. It’s normal to have busy calendars but it’s not normal to shut your spouse out, and doing so can seriously hurt your marriage.
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5. Lack of Trust
Trust issues stem from various places, and sometimes they’re so deep-rooted that they impede a marriage. If you don’t talk about your feelings or seek professional help, a lack of trust can destroy your relationship.
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6. Reliance on Influence
Wanting advice is human, but avoid heavy reliance on friends or Reddit threads. No one knows your marriage like you do, which means you know best how to fix it. Don’t allow yourself to get pulled in ten different directions.
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7. Differing Beliefs
You want to be on the same page as your spouse about life’s biggest challenges. Whether it’s money or childrearing, clashing opinions can devastate a marriage. If you notice that you’re veering on different paths, talk about it with your spouse.
8. Holding Grudges
It’s important to work through the little things in a long-term relationship. Don’t hold onto small arguments or grievances—letting them fester is a surefire way to build grudges, which only leads to resentment.
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9. Apathy
It’s completely normal for marriages to fall into a routine. However, try not to get comfortable in a rut because that’s how you lose the spark. Spontaneity has a place in a marriage, so brainstorm ways to have fun with your partner.
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10. Avoiding Therapy
The stigma of therapy often coerces people out of it—don’t be one of them. If you think your marriage could benefit from therapy, avoiding it only exacerbates the problems.
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You may be in a rough spot right now, but there are plenty of ways to get back on track.
1. Talk it Out
Discuss whatever problems you have with your spouse. Regardless of what it is, you should never be afraid to speak with your long-term partner. In fact, it’s a glaring red flag when you feel like you can’t.
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2. Make an Effort
If your partner voiced concerns about a workload imbalance, make more of an effort to help out. Tackle chores without asking or take the kids for a day so your spouse can relax. Remember that you’re a team and need to act as such.
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3. Stress-Reducing Techniques
Work on stress management to avoid snapping at your partner or sprouting gray hairs. Practice mindful breathing techniques, take a walk, or spend some time doing what you love. A true partner understands the need for downtime and will encourage it!
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4. Include Your Partner
Never forget about your spouse amid life’s chaos. Quality time enriches your bond and lets your partner know they’re still a priority. Even if you don’t have time for date night or a weekend getaway, a simple evening together is more than enough.
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5. Work Through Problems
A marriage won’t go far without trust—if experiences in your current or previous relationships affect your ability to trust, you need to work through them. Whether that’s talking it out with your partner or investing in a therapist, you owe it to yourself to get to the root of your concerns.
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6. Trust Yourself
At the end of the day, you’re the only one who can make your decisions. Seeking advice from a friend or therapist is one thing, but don’t ask everyone under the sun for their opinion. Trust yourself to make the right call.
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7. See Eye-to-Eye
Get on the same page as your partner about important life decisions. You should see eye-to-eye about things like money, childcare, and next steps. Have the important discussions now before it’s too late to address them.
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8. Let it Go
You need to learn to let things go in a marriage. We’re not talking about larger issues that require healing or therapy, we mean stuff like small arguments. Petty problems have a way of growing into resentment, which is the last thing you want in a healthy marriage.
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9. Stay Spontaneous
Fun isn’t just for new couples! Couples in all stages deserve to have fun—and, in fact, need it to avoid a dreaded rut. Learn something new together, go on a date, or make time for intimacy.
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10. See a Therapist
Never let insecurities stop you from therapy. There’s no shame in recruiting a professional to save your marriage. Therapy shows that you both care enough to salvage your relationship, and it can do wonders to help you rebuild.
