Head Over Heels or Hit the Road?
We all know that first dates are a little daunting, and between all the small talk and butterflies in our stomachs, it’s hard to know if we’re even on a good one. That’s why we’ve broken down a few ways to tell your date is going poorly—or if love is in the air.
1. They Show Up Late Without Telling You
Showing up late is rude enough, but the least someone could do is message first. It’s not a good sign if your date doesn’t even have the courtesy to inform you, and it sets everything off on the wrong foot.
2. They Don’t Listen to You
No one wants to chat with someone who won’t listen. If they don’t ask questions or they tune out during your time to speak, it’s pretty clear that things won’t work out. It’s also indicative of how they view you and any budding romance.
3. They Spend a Lot of Time on Their Phone
There’s no reason to whip out your phone during a first date (unless there’s an emergency). It’s one of the biggest ways to show disinterest, and it’s also pretty insulting. Natural connections won’t make you jump through any hoops for their attention.
4. They’re Rude to Waitstaff
How someone treats waitstaff can make or break a date. Disrespecting employees? Red flag. Openly flirting with them? Also a giant red flag. Pay attention to their behavior—how they treat waitstaff is a window into how they’ll treat you.
5. They Cross Your Boundaries
No good first date will cross your boundaries, however they look. You know you’re on a bad date when they ignore your lines in the sand or try to coerce you into doing something that makes you uncomfortable. If they can’t respect you now, they won’t respect you later.
6. Things Move Way Too Quickly
There’s nothing wrong with scheduling another date or even heading back to their place (so long as everyone’s on board). But some people overshare or get pushy about next steps, and both can make things awkward. If you feel they’ve overstepped, the date is likely heading south.
7. They Don’t Shut Up About Their Ex
While you’d want your date to open up eventually, it’s a huge red flag to talk about exes on the first date. The only silver lining is that it provides the insight you need. Do they constantly complain about them? Was everything the other person’s fault? Do they look bad, even in their own retelling of events? As annoying as it can be, at least you sidestepped a landmine.
8. Bumpy Conversation
It’s normal to feel first-date jitters, but good vibes get rid of those pretty quickly. Bad first dates, on the other hand, have no shortage of stunted conversations or awkward lulls. If you can’t recover quickly, it’s usually a sign things aren’t going well.
9. There’s No Second Date Scheduled
When you know, you know. Bumpy first dates won’t score a second, so if neither of you takes the plunge, you likely didn’t have a good enough time. Try not to feel too rattled—it’s better to know now than later!
10. The Whole Thing Just Feels “Off”
Don’t ignore your gut. From weird oversharing to crossing boundaries, our intuition isn’t shy about sounding the alarm. Even if you can’t put your finger on it, pay attention to what your gut tells you; you’ll know when something feels off.
With all the warning signs out of the way, let’s explore a few indicators that you’re on a good date.
1. It Lasts Longer Than Expected
You know what they say: time flies when you’re having fun—and it’s no different for first dates! With good conversation, genuine laughter, and a real connection, it’s easy to see just how quickly time can pass.
2. You Can Be Yourselves
We all want a partner we can be ourselves around, and the right person welcomes that feeling. You know it’s a good date when you don’t have to worry about your weird sense of humor or the little snort you make when you laugh.
3. There Was Lots of Laughter
Speaking of laughter, no good first date is complete without it. It’s a great sign when you unashamedly giggle with each other over the silliest things. Laughter also helps get rid of those pesky jitters.
4. Conversation Flows Easily
As important as laughter is, nothing tops good conversation. Sure, there might be a few bumps in the road, but a genuine connection plows through them pretty quickly. If you can openly talk like you’ve known each other for years, you’re likely headed for something special.
Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash
5. Flirtatious Physical Contact
First dates are all about reciprocal physical contact. Walking arm in arm or a playful touch on the shoulder can set those sparks into full-blown flames, and they’re telltale signs that you’re on a good date. 
Sammyayot254 on Unsplash
6. They Asked Interesting Questions
Proper conversation is a two-way street, so keep an eye on their engagement. Did they ask follow-up questions? Did they join in with similar situations you two could bond over? When they’re involved in the conversation, it’s because they’re legitimately interested.
7. You’re Both Tuned In
Phones off the table, people! It’s easy to tell when someone’s invested—if they’re completely locked in without any distractions, you’ve got them hook, line, and sinker. The same goes for you, too!
8. You Head to a Second Location
The best first dates often wind up in a second location. Whether you decide to go for drinks after dinner or head to the pier for a nice walk, more time together only signals how much fun you’re having.
9. You’ve Already Planned Another Date
The right person won’t play games with you; they won’t wait a few days before texting you, and they definitely won’t string you along. You both scored a home run if you’re planning a second date before the first one’s even over.
10. You’re Giddy Throughout the Night
Nothing beats butterflies in the stomach, and a good date will have those wings flapping all night. If you can’t stop smiling, find yourself giggling, or just lose yourself in the moment, you’re undoubtedly headed for a second date.
