Dream Day Or Doomed For Disaster?
Even if you've never been to a destination wedding, you probably have thoughts on them. And, if the internet is anything to go by, those thoughts are probably negative. Are destination weddings really that bad? Let's explore some of the pros and cons from a guest's point-of-view.
1. Cost
Cost is the #1 reason why people dislike destination weddings and, frankly, we don't blame them. The average American wedding costs $33,000 in 2025. Destination weddings typically cost more and, unlike regular weddings, your "yes" RSVP comes with a hefty price tag.
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2. Offloading Fees Onto Guests
One major reason why guests dislike destination weddings is that they feel that fees are being offloaded onto them. Many resorts offer wedding packages where the more guests you have, the less you have to pay. Understandably, some guests feel bitter that they're subsidizing the wedding.
3. Extra Fees
Airline tickets, wedding gifts, formal attire, hotel stays, bonus excursions, petcare, childcare (we'll get there, don't worry). All those seemingly little fees add up quickly. While this may not seem like a lot for the happy couple, the state of the economy means that guests could go into debt to attend.
4. Exclusivity
Another reason why people dislike destination weddings is that they can feel cliquey. Not only is the guest list notably shorter than a backyard wedding, but it's more exclusive. Sorry grandma, we love you, but your walker won't work on the white sand beach, we hope you understand!
5. Exhausting Itineraries
One thing that we love about weddings (provided you aren't in the wedding party) is how easy they are. You get dolled up, throw some rice, eat some cake, cut a rug, and go home. Because destination weddings are longer, they're often packed to the brim with events there's literally no escaping.
6. No Childcare
We aren't going to mince words here: many couples who plan destination weddings don't have children and see them as an eyesore. Destination weddings aren't generally child-friendly, meaning those with children will have to pay for childcare to attend. Ditto for those who are primary caregivers to other family members.
7. Busy Schedules
Like we said, normal weddings are easy ins-and-out; destination weddings take a bit more planning. Assuming that travel days won't have any additional events, you're looking at at least four days for the wedding. One day off work to attend a wedding is fine, but four? In this economy?
8. Lack Of PTO
Speaking of time off from work, the amount of paid time off most companies offer is truly dire. The average is about 11 days off, which a destination wedding takes a significant chunk off. So much for other holiday plans and/or medical emergencies!
9. Travel Delays
While we can be a little salty about hidden fees, we're not going to fault any couple whose destination wedding is marred by travel delays. Those things happen. However, these delays, like fees, can quickly add up, eating away at that precious time off.
10. Feelings Of Guilt
Even if you end up attending a destination wedding, it can feel like a lose-lose situation when it comes to guilt. There's the pressure to get the perfect gift and be the perfect guest since it's more of a big deal. And then there's the feeling of guilt if you can't afford to go.
Now that we've covered some reasons why guests are likely to RSVP "no" to destination weddings, let's look at some reasons why they're popular.
1. Intimate Feeling
Exclusivity isn't always a bad thing. While the guest list for regular weddings can quickly spiral out of control, leaving you seated with someone's third cousins twice removed, only the closest loved ones tend to attend destination weddings. You'll likely know most, if not all of the other guests.
2. Mature Environment
While we acknowledge that destinations aren't very parent-friendly, sometimes parents need a break from their kids. Because kids aren't typically invited to destination weddings, their parents get to enjoy time with other adults. It can really ruin the mood when the flower girl throws a tantrum mid-wedding.
3. Opportunity To Explore
One of the biggest reasons why you should consider saying "yes" to a destination wedding is the opportunity to explore. We don't just mean exploring a fancy resort, but an entirely new culture. Bonus points if it's a destination you wouldn't have chosen yourself.
S O C I A L . C U T on Unsplash
4. Resort Deals
True, resorts offer a financial incentive to the couple booking the package, but they also offer deals for the guests. The owners of these resorts are aware of the extra costs and want you to book, offering you an incentive as well. You might just get a better deal as a wedding guest than if you booked a regular vacation.
5. Open To Everyone
Let's say that the happy couple come from different parts of the country or, better yet—different countries entirely. A destination wedding refuses to take sides when it comes to geography. Having the wedding in a secondary location lets families meet in the middle.
6. More Time To Relax
Like we said early, normal weddings are an in-and-out scenario and, once you get out, you can crash hard. Rather than cramming all the events and excitement into a day or two, destinations give everyone more time to breathe. There's a reason there's a buffer between travel days!
7. Multi-Day Celebration
Stretching a wedding over multiple days sounds exhausting, but it doesn't have to be. Multiple days allow for more time to reset and recharge in between events. This can be especially helpful for couples coming from mixed backgrounds as it allows them to hold multiple traditional ceremonies.
8. More Quality Time
Realistically, how much time do you get with the happy couple unless you're in the wedding party? Maybe a quick hug or a picture after the ceremony. A smaller guest list means more time for everyone to spend with their loved ones.
9. Possibility Of Extending Stays
While a destination wedding isn't necessarily a replacement for a vacation, it can be the start of one! If the wedding is based somewhere you know you love or were planning on visiting anyway, you can add a couple extra days to your booking. Or, if you want to explore the area, you can use the wedding venue as a jumping-off point.
10. Fun!
We're not going to lie to your face and tell you that destination weddings aren't fun. Yes, they're expensive and potentially stressful, and they're certainly not for everyone. But they can also offer a once-in-a-lifetime chance to make memories, work on your tan, and see the world.
