First Impressions Matter More Than You Think
What makes or breaks a first impression? You probably already have a few negative qualities in mind: rude behavior, inattentiveness, closed body language. The worst part is that once first impressions are made, they can be extremely hard to shake. If you're wondering how you can make sure you're putting your best foot forward, make sure to avoid these 10 common mistakes that can ruin a first impression, and instead follow the 10 tips we've suggested.
1. Only Talking About Yourself
Everybody loves talking about themselves; it's human instinct. We all think our own stories and experiences are the most interesting, so why wouldn't others want to listen and enjoy the ride? That's just the thing, though: if we all like talking about ourselves, we'd all want to have a chance to join the discussion. But if the other person is always going on and on and on, we'd never get a word in. Without any back-and-forth, it wouldn't be a fun conversation to have.
2. Arriving Late
Think back to the last time you made plans with a friend. You were supposed to meet at a café at noon, but they were late; in fact, they were almost an hour late. How did you feel? You might be forgiving because it's your friend and you know them, or you anticipated their tardiness, but if you had been waiting for someone you'd never met before, your impression of them is already not-so-great.
3. Overusing Your Phone
You might not think using your phone is a bad thing, because in this day and age, who isn't looking at their phone 24/7? But if you're with a friend or on a date, you probably wouldn't want the other person to be on their phone while you're trying to have a conversation with them. It would make you feel like you're not interesting enough to pay attention to.
4. Interrupting or Talking Over Others
Remember how we noted that talking only about yourself can ruin a first impression? The same applies if you're constantly interrupting or talking over others. After all, how would you feel if someone cut in the middle of your story and shifted the attention back onto themselves?
5. Asking Nosy Questions
When it's your first time meeting someone, you probably don't expect to reveal much of your personal life to them, because you haven't yet built any trust with this person. So when you're asked an overly intimate question, it likely wouldn't make you want to warm up to them; instead, you'd just be thrown off.
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6. Oversharing Your Personal Life
Just like you wouldn't want to be asked overly personal questions, you probably wouldn't like it if someone were to overshare their life with you. Again, there's a sense of trust we need to build with others before we're comfortable enough to be vulnerable in front of them, so crossing this line on the first meeting can feel jarring.
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7. Negative or Closed Body Language
No matter whether you're in a job interview or on a date, closed body language means only one thing: you're not interested. Maybe you're crossing your legs, arms, or have your head turned the other way. This only signals to the other person that you'd rather be anywhere else.
8. Poor Eye Contact
Eye contact can be difficult to maintain if you're naturally shy or introverted, but without mentioning this beforehand, other people may assume you're avoiding their eyes because you're not paying attention. That can ruin a first impression immediately.
9. Excessive Complaining
Imagine you're an interviewer and one of your candidates walks in, a million words flying out of their mouth a minute. They're late, they admit, but it's all because of their roommate and the bus driver. As they go on and on about the mishaps they've faced, blaming their tardiness on others, you probably already have a pretty good first impression of them—and it's not a good one.
10. Forgetting Names
Think back to the last time you received an email from someone and they spelled your name wrong. How did you feel? Probably not great, right? Well, what if they forgot your name in person? That negative feeling would probably expand tenfold. Names are extremely important, and if there's one thing that can instantly ruin a first impression, it's forgetting someone's name.
What, then, are some ways to make a better first impression? Let's jump into that next.
1. Genuine Smile
A genuine smile goes a long way, and it can instantly change the vibe of a conversation. The more expressive you are, the more other people will feel like they can confide in you. After all, we're more likely to open up to friendly faces than those that seem closed off.
2. Eye Contact
We mentioned earlier the importance of eye contact, but it's worth repeating. Again, maintaining eye contact can be challenging if you're shy, but this simple action conveys a lot. Most importantly, it tells the other person your focus is trained on them and only them.
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3. Positive Feedback
Maintaining eye contact isn't the only thing you should do in a conversation, though. To show the other person that you're truly paying attention to them, you also want to give them feedback, such as nodding or asking follow-up questions, to signal you're actually listening. This helps keep the conversation flowing.
4. Open Body Language
Remember: keeping your arms and legs crossed can indicate to other people that you're not interested in the conversation. Instead of closing off your body, be open and welcoming. That way, people will want to keep a conversation going with you.
5. Attentive Listening
Ideally, you should listen more than you speak, and it's often recommended that you keep to an 80/20 ratio—listening 80% of the time, and speaking 20% of the time. Never interrupt or cut someone else off when they're in the middle of talking; it could immediately ruin the impression they have of you.
6. Dress for the Occasion
If you're headed to a job interview, make sure to dress appropriately; you don't want to show up like you're meeting up with a friend. The same goes for a date—wearing pajamas probably isn't the best choice if you're looking to impress someone on the first meeting. Always make sure you're dressing for the occasion, or it could ruin a first impression.
7. Ask Questions
Another way to show you're attentive? Ask questions. Even though you should stick to the 80/20 rule, that doesn't mean the other person wants you to never talk at all. A good conversation means you're both bouncing off each other, so don't be afraid to give your input at the right times.
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8. Respectful Language
On your first meeting with someone, you never want to speak to them as you do with your close friends and family. Avoid using vulgar language and, as mentioned earlier, asking overly personal questions. Keep your tone polite, friendly, and respectful.
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9. Be Punctual
Show up late to an interview or important meeting, and you'll likely be remembered for a while—and not for a good reason. If you want to make a memorable first impression, be punctual. Try arriving at least 10 minutes before the scheduled time. It can also be a bad thing if you show up too early.
10. Be Authentic
Above all, be yourself. No one wants to meet your alternate persona—they want to meet you. So show off your true personality! In job interviews, it's not the overly professional people that interviewers remember most; it's the candidates who aren't afraid to be authentic.
