10 First Date Questions That Help You Get Closer & 10 Dangerous Ones That Ruin A Date
10 First Date Questions That Help You Get Closer & 10 Dangerous Ones That Ruin A Date
The Right Questions Could Lead to a Second Date
First dates are nerve-wracking, but you still need to treat them as a job interview. While you must be prepared to answer a litany of questions, you also need to be equipped with your own list that can help you get to know the other person. Part of this is also knowing which questions to never ask. Here are 10 first date questions that help you get closer and 10 dangerous ones that ruin a date.
1. What's Something You're Really Passionate About?
This question invites your date to share something that really excites them, whether it's a passion project, hobby, or their career. Their passion also reveals their values, and this question can lead to an engaging conversation.
2. Do You Enjoy Traveling?
Inquiring about their passion for travel and experiences abroad opens the door to stories and memories that will help you get to know them better. Follow this question up by asking about their favorite trips.
3. What Does a Perfect Weekend Look Like For You?
This question is a sneaky way to get your date to reveal their lifestyle preferences. You'll learn if they are social, outdoorsy, adventurous, or like to spend quiet evenings at home. The goal is to gauge if your lifestyles align.
4. What Kind of Music Do You Love?
Music is a great way to connect with another person on a date. Asking about their music tastes will reveal some of their personality, and it's a low-pressure way to bond.
5. Do You Enjoy Trying New Foods or Sticking to Favorites?
This playful yet informative question helps you learn how open your date is to new experiences, and if they are more adventurous or traditional. You can also get some ideas for the second date.
6. What's Something On Your Bucket List?
Bucket lists might seem a little cheesy, but they uncover long-term hopes, dreams, and ambitions. You can learn how adventurous and ambitious your date is, or if they have a sentimental side. Sharing bucket lists can inspire connection on a first date.
7. Did You Grow Up Here, or Move From Somewhere Else?
This question gives context to your date's roots, background, and life experiences. It can open a door to sharing childhood stories or talking about their culture.
8. What's the Last Book, TV show, or Movie You Enjoyed?
This question ignites a conversation about your date's current interests. It's light but revealing, and you'll learn if they like comedies, dramas, thrillers, or horror. You can also turn the conversation into some recommendations.
9. Do You Enjoy Being Outdoors or More of an Indoor Person?
This question is about seeing if your lifestyles can align. It reveals if they love hiking, going to the beach, or having a cozy movie night. It can tell you how you might spend time together in the future.
10. What's Something Small That Always Makes You Happy?
This question lets your date talk about their joy and may reveal their positivity. You'll learn what makes them happy every day and their general outlook.
1. How Much Money Do You Make?
This should be an obvious one, no matter how curious you are. The conversation about income should come much later in the relationship, and you don't want to come across as materialistic. This question is a mood killer.
2. Why Are You Still Single?
This question can make someone feel defensive. It can imply that something may be wrong with them, and make the rest of the date uncomfortable.
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3. Do You Want Kids, and How Soon?
While this question is important to eventually ask, it's too heavy and imposing for a first date. It can also pressure someone into committing to something before they actually know what they want.
4. What Was Your Last Relationship Like?
Everyone on a first date will be curious about this, but it's best not to ask until a few dates in. You risk making your date uncomfortable or forcing them to reveal something painful from their past.
5. Am I Your Type?
Resist the urge to ask this question, regardless of how tempting it might be. It makes you seem like you're looking for validation. All you will gain is coming across as insecure and awkward.
6. Who Are You Voting For?
Politics is too divisive for a first date. It can derail the evening, and if your political values differ from your date's, then you will have an impossible time trying to build chemistry.
7. Do You Believe in Marriage?
Asking about marriage too early feels like a trap being set. It can scare off your date and make you appear as if you're fast-tracking your relationship. The point of a first date is to get to know the other person, not rope them into a bigger commitment.
8. Do You Want to Split the Bill?
Paying the bill will always be a tense moment, especially if you ask bluntly. You need to find a way to handle it gracefully and not treat it as a loaded question.
9. Are You Seeing Anyone Else Right Now?
Asking this question is a big red flag and will make your first date feel like an interrogation. Frankly, it's none of your business if your date is seeing other people, so ditch this question to avoid wrecking the evening.
10. How Do You Think This Date is Going So Far?
This weird question puts your date on the spot and forces them to grade the evening in real time. It creates an uncomfortable tension and will prevent the vibe from flowing naturally.
