Are You Being Catfished?
Online dating is a headache as it is: swiping through endless profiles, meeting up to test for real connections, turning down people who just aren’t the right fit. But the headache gets even worse when someone decides to lie about themselves. If you’re wondering how to separate the fake from the genuine, we’ve got you covered. Here are 10 common lies people tell on dating apps—and 10 signs someone might be catfishing you.
1. Height
One of the most common traits people lie about on their dating profiles is their height. This is especially true for men, who, if they are shorter than average (say, 5'8" and below), may tack on a few inches to their actual height. Women who lie about their height are often taller than average (5'11" and above).
2. Age
Another common lie people tell on their dating profiles is their age. Teens might bump their years up to appear older and mature, though it's more likely for adults to shave a few years off their actual age, especially in the late-20s and above range. For example, someone who's in their 30s might put "28" on their profile.
3. Weight
If you've used dating apps before, you knew this one was coming. Though it's one of the first few things you'll likely notice about someone as soon as you meet them in real life, especially if it's a drastic difference to what their profile seems to depict them as, that doesn't stop people from making this lie and using old (or edited) photos to sell the image. Women are more likely than men to lie about their weight.
4. Body Type
Men often say that they have an athletic, toned build, while women often say they're curvy or average. Similar to weight, though, body type is something you'll immediately see through the lie of once you meet in real life, which makes it all the more confusing as to why people still choose to be dishonest about it.
AllGo - An App For Plus Size People on Unsplash
5. Using Old Photos
Using old photos is a classic method people use to lie about their appearance, weight, age, and even height on their profiles. They might choose, for example, to use photos from when they were a different size or age, making them come across as much younger and fitter than they currently are. Others may use filters or Photoshop their photos.
6. Current Job & Occupation
You might think it's an odd thing to lie about, but people are commonly dishonest about what they do for a living. They may inflate their title, making it sound more professional or senior, such as going from "Marketing Associate" to "Marketing Manager." They might also fib about their current occupation, especially if they're still in school or are unemployed.
7. Relationship Status
It might sound odd, but some people lie about their relationship status, too. They might be on a "short break" from their previous partner, and aren't completely serious about finding someone new, even if they say the opposite on their profile. They might even still be in a relationship, and are secretly looking for someone "on the side."
8. Intentions
Your dating intentions on your profile should be relatively straightforward; whether you're looking for a serious, long-term relationship or a short fling, you can specify as much. However, some might put "looking for a long-term relationship" but mean the opposite, which can make it very confusing for others.
9. Interests & Hobbies
Believe it or not, some people even lie about their interests and hobbies. Men, for example, will often choose activities that make them seem more athletic and strong—or they might fib about their passions just to score a date ("You like walking on the beach? Me too!"). Women may also lie about their hobbies to better appeal to potential matches and partners.
TEAcreativelife │ Soo Chung on Unsplash
10. Lifestyle
Some may choose to lie about their lifestyle, such as how often they smoke, party, or drink. While this might not matter to some, it may be a dealbreaker for others, especially if there are signs of addiction or substance abuse.
How, then, can you spot a liar when swiping through dating profiles? Read on for 10 signs to watch out for so you can stay safe.
1. Refusing to Video Chat
Sure, some people might refuse to video chat if they're shy or prefer to meet in person, but an adamant refusal to show their face should immediately raise an alarm. This might point to them being a catfish (a fake persona or identity) or that they're just stringing you along.
2. Constant Excuses to Not Meet Up
If someone refuses to video chat and constantly makes excuses not to meet up with you, then you should cut your losses. It's understandable that we all lead busy lives and schedules, but if someone can't even make the time for a date, they probably aren't the right person for you—and they're likely hiding something.
3. Slow Replies
Slow replies can indicate a few things. It might, for example, mean that someone is lying or catfishing, and needs time to make up a believable story so all their details match up. But it could also mean that you're just one out of many options for them, and they don't feel the need to reply to you as quickly as someone they are interested in.
4. Inconsistent Details
Speaking of piecing together details to sell a lie, another way you can tell someone is lying is when their stories don't match up. They might, for example, have something on their profile that they can't confirm when you ask them about it. Or they could forget what they've previously said to you and give you contradictory info, like saying they're a doctor one day and a software engineer the next.
5. Too-Fast Replies
You should also be wary of people who reply too quickly. Pay attention to the way they text, too; you don't want to accidentally be chatting with AI-generated responses from someone who's just trying to catfish you.
6. Grainy or Too-Perfect Photos
Always take a good look at the photos on dating profiles, and be wary of pictures where the person is too far away, turned to the side, or in a blurry, grainy shot. Filters and photos that look too perfect should also make you cautious. You can also try reverse searching images that particularly raise suspicion.
7. Share Everything in Common with You
Someone who blindly follows along with everything you say might seem picture-perfect on the surface, but more often than not, they're not who they are behind the screen. They might say they share all the same interests with you just to continue stringing you along.
8. Lovebombing
Someone who lovebombs (showers you with over-the-top affection) may also be a liar. They might do this to form easy connections with different people, even though they're not serious about any of them. If someone starts including you in their future plans ("Should we move in together?"), even in early conversations, it's a clear sign to back away.
9. Gut Feeling
Sometimes, the easiest way to spot a liar is to trust your gut instinct. If your mind and body are telling you that something might be wrong or off about a person, it might be better to listen to your sixth sense and move on.
10. Seem Too Good to Be True
If someone seems too good to be true, they probably are. Even if they have the perfect profile and personality, and seem like they'd be the perfect partner, there could be something else going on behind the scenes that you're not aware of yet. Again, if your gut feeling is telling you something's off, despite how picture-perfect everything seems on the surface, it's better to listen to your instincts.
