Being with a partner is one of the most rewarding experiences. You build your lives together and plan a future—it seems like nothing could break your bond. That’s why when a partner breaks that trust, it’s natural to go through an onslaught of emotions. It may feel like your life is in a tailspin, but there are some healthy ways to try and move forward after such a blow.
1. Don’t Make Assumptions
It’s easy to make assumptions when our mind is swimming. But if you’re suspicious, confront your partner and speak openly with them, or wait for concrete proof. Living in your head isn’t going to help you get closure or move on.
2. Accept the Situation
If you find that your partner did cheat, you need to accept that. The first step to moving on is to understand what happened and not make excuses for them. Right now, you need to focus on you.
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3. Stop Blaming Yourself
It’s much easier said than done, but this was their decision, not yours. You shouldn’t feel guilty for their breach of trust on top of everything else. Take a deep breath and try to remember that you’re not responsible for their actions.
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4. It’s Going to be Tough
There’s no simple path to healing. Everyone’s journey looks different and as much as we’d like to fast forward through the hurt, understand that you have a long road ahead of you. Just as importantly, keep in mind that you have plenty of people and resources to help you along.
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5. Take Care of Yourself
Self-care is one of the first things we forget in the midst of healing. Don’t neglect it at a time like this. However that looks for you, bump self-care to the front of the line.
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6. Get a Support System
Surround yourself with people who care about you and with those you can speak with. It’s a tough situation to navigate on your own so sticking with loved ones can help you get some perspective.
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7. Stay Out of It
Keep out of it as much as you can. Don’t stalk the other person online. Don’t visit them outside of work. You’re not going to achieve what you think and it’s only going to hinder your healing.
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8. Learn What You Want
When the dust has settled a little, think about your future. Be honest and don’t shy away from the tough decisions. Just be sure you don’t make any rash choices as you want to be level-headed about what comes next.
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9. Don’t Follow Suit
Wanting revenge might seem like a good idea, but you’ll only feel worse. Don’t try to retaliate or “get even” with a partner. Accept what it is so you can rebuild healthily and not stoop to their level.
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10. Evaluate the Relationship
Now’s a good time to think about the future of your relationship. Is this something you think can be smoothed over? Do you want to rebuild with this person? There’s no shame in wanting to end things either.
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11. Keep Off Social Media
With so many apps and platforms available, the temptation to stalk people is too high and you’ll never recover that way. Take a step back from social media.
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12. Lay Ground Rules
If you’ve decided to give your partner another chance, you need to lay some ground rules about the relationship. What do you want the future to look like? What steps will your partner have to take to regain your trust? Work with them to build a plan moving forward.
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13. Couples Therapy
Should you and your partner want to work through this, a therapist is a good way to rebuild. They can help you with proper coping mechanisms and communication strategies to ensure you’re on the right path to forgiveness.
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14. One-on-One Therapy
On the other hand, therapy remains an option even if you go solo. Getting cheated on comes with a lot of emotions and confusion to process, so having someone professionally guide you can help smooth the process.
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15. Embrace a Fresh Start
Going at it alone can be scary. It’s new, no one knows what the future holds, and you’re in the throes of recovery. But embracing a fresh start gives an optimistic look at what lies ahead so you tackle whatever’s next.
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16. Consider the Future
If you and your partner call it quits, you need to think practically about your future. Keep living arrangements and budgeting in mind now that you’ll be on your own for a while.
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17. Cut Ties
After spending so much time with a person, cutting ties with them is a challenging mountain to climb. However, if you’ve decided to break up, then let them go and focus on yourself. You’ll never move on otherwise.
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18. Try to Forgive
When the time is right, take a moment to think about forgiveness. Of course, no one is owed forgiveness after such a betrayal, but doing it for yourself can help rip that huge weight off your chest.
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19. Reinforce Confidence
One of the most unfair experiences of infidelity is the feeling that you did something wrong. Suddenly it can feel like we’re not attractive enough or kind enough or—stop those feelings in their tracks! You didn’t do anything wrong, and whether it’s working with a therapist or surrounding yourself with loved ones, reinforce your confidence, don’t let it crumble.
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20. Be Patient
The road to healing will be a long one, there’s no two ways about it. But be patient with yourself as you work through it. You’ll soon spot the light at the end of the tunnel.
