What It Means to Be a Woman
Being a woman is hard enough without society placing unfair expectations and harsh realities on top of you. Between the discrimination at work, the weight of unattainable beauty standards, and the exhausting standards of who you should be in relationships, there are a lot of unpleasant realities that all women must face at one point or another. With that in mind, here are 20 realities most women already relate to.
1. Beauty Fades
Appearance alters with time, and it's a universal truth. Seeking validation through looks alone sets the stage for disillusionment. It’s a sad double standard, as women will be pushed by society, media, and friends to become more and more beautiful, only to eventually realize that it is always a fleeting and unattainable standard.
2. Not a Fairytale
Romance is not always a fairy tale, despite what Hollywood and Disney tell you. Striving for perfection sets unrealistic expectations and causes frustration. A healthy relationship requires work, communication, and patience from both individuals. Unfortunately, many women are pressured and expected to get into relationships, even bad ones, rather than face the stigma of being single.
3. Married
You are not a ‘successful’ woman until you get married. In certain cultures or communities, a woman’s marital status is often linked to her success. Regardless of her career achievements, educational background, or personal growth, she may be considered ‘incomplete’ or unsuccessful until she gets married. It is essential to acknowledge your own successes outside of marriage to develop self-assurance.
4. Lack of Control
Individuals perceive you through their own experiences, biases, and preferences. Despite your actions, some opinions are beyond your control. Just being a woman can impact how people perceive and see you, and their judgments can be quite harsh at times.
5. Self-Worth
Attention or compliments from outside can be nice, but temporary. Lasting self-esteem comes from knowing your strengths, making goals, and respecting your values. Inner self-worth will help you resist seeking approval from others.
Christopher Campbell on Unsplash
6. The Workplace
Women can be treated differently, have different expectations of them, or have assumptions made about them at work. This can impact pay, promotions, and opportunities even when performance is equal. Understanding bias can help you stand up for yourself and others.
7. Body Autonomy
Women have to be concerned about taking extra steps for personal safety at times. When it comes to intimate activities and having children, despite the fact that it takes two people, it is often the woman who is burdened with all the responsibility. That is why it’s up to women to protect their own bodies to minimize unwanted risks.
8. Women vs. Women
Even other women, who are supposed to be allies, can become big enemies and competitors. From jealous women to spiteful ones, they may try to bring younger girls down. There are also women who advocate for fewer rights and subservient roles, which can be damaging when it comes to wanting a choice of your own.
9. No Late-Night Walks
Nature is something that is sadly inaccessible for women. Imagine how dangerous it could be for a woman hiking alone or walking through the park at night, a fear that most men don’t have to deal with. Staying vigilant and aware is a necessity, and it means missing out on parts of nature.
10. Brothers and Sisters
Gender is often the factor that determines what one can or cannot do or say within one’s family and even in society as a whole. There are higher expectations for women. They are often treated with a double standard or more rules than their male siblings. So while your brother might be allowed to stay out late or dress how he pleases, the same rules won’t apply to the girl.
11. Kid Expectations
Women are often expected to want children, whether they do or not. It can feel pressuring and invasive. It's important to learn how to set boundaries and speak up for what you want. Even your own family members and friends can use this against you, reminding you of a ticking clock or pressuring you to make them grandparents or aunts. And if you say you don’t want kids, they’ll dismiss the thought and say you’ll change your mind.
12. Fake Friends
Some men will only want to be friends with you because of your looks. Not all people are looking to have real friendships; they are just looking at what you look like. This can get very shallow and annoying. You want to be choosy with who you spend your time with to protect your heart.
13. Valued for Your Looks
The world can make you feel like your appearance is the most important thing. Others may not appreciate or see your skills, smarts, or personality. You may feel used, objectified, or taken advantage of. The more you work on your craft and your self-assurance, the more people will see the real you.
14. Short Prime
There is pressure to think that being young is what makes you valuable. This is especially the case in situations that place emphasis on looks. Some people go as far as to say women only have value in their 20s and 30s, which is detrimental thinking and must be stopped.
15. Industry Barriers
A few industries are still male-dominated, like construction or engineering, so breaking in can be difficult. There may be prejudices and barriers that need more tenacity and self-advocacy. Determination alone might not be enough to shatter glass ceilings and open doors.
16. Monthly Pain
Menstruation is normal biology, but women are told to “push through” when in pain. Lack of education leads to judgment or setting unfair expectations. It’s important to advocate for yourself and practice self-care.
17. Downplayed Pain
Unfortunately, doctors will minimize your pain because you're a woman. Studies confirm women's health issues are often dismissed or not taken seriously. This can lead to delayed diagnosis and treatment, which can affect overall health. Remember to be assertive, informed, and persistent when getting care.
18. Menopause
Menopause is a natural phase of life that can impact energy, mood, and physical health. It's a topic that's not often openly discussed in society, which can make the transition seem daunting. It’s like after decades of dealing with a period, this is what’s waiting at the end of the tunnel?
19. Other Men
The unfortunate reality is that some men (and women) won't take a woman seriously if she doesn't have a husband or boyfriend. For example, if someone is giving you trouble, telling them to stop might not be enough. But if you mention you have a boyfriend, or that your husband will be here any second, they suddenly back off.
Mubariz Mehdizadeh on Unsplash
20. Not Everyone’s Favorite
The reality is that despite all your niceness, effort, and hard work, some people will dismiss you just because you’re a woman. There are some people you just won’t be able to please. Part of maturing as a woman is learning to let go of those that don’t value you, and valuing yourself.
