10 Ways Men Communicate That Infuriate Women & 10 Upsetting Things Women Do
When It Really Feels Like Men And Women Are From Different Planets
Communication is the foundation of every relationship, but it's also the source of its biggest headaches. Men and women often mean well, but their very different communication styles can lead to horrible misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and silent standoffs. Here are 10 ways men communicate that drive women mad and 10 things women do that frustrate men.
1. Giving A One-Word Answer
In texts as well as verbal interactions, men tend to use "K's," "fine's," and "sure's" where a woman would speak a whole sentence, complete with punctuation. This manner of speaking makes a conversation feel too much like an interrogation.
2. Selective Listening
Men are famous for their selective listening skills. They can recite sports stats from 1999, but didn't hear you bring up the weekend's dinner plans three times.
3. Problem-Solving Instead Of Just Listening
Sometimes, you just need to vent. You're not looking for solutions, but if your guy is a natural problem-solver, he starts troubleshooting instead of just lending an ear and showing empathy.
4. Emotionless Delivery
Many guys have a bad habit of being monotone in their verbal or text delivery. When this is the case, it's hard to tell if he's calm, mad, tired, or just uninterested.
5. Mansplaining
Though they don't usually realize they're doing it, men have a bad habit of explaining something to a woman in an overconfident and condescending way. This is particularly infuriating when it's a topic the woman is more of an expert in.
6. Avoiding Eye Contact
Many men seem to think that if they avoid eye contact during a conflict, it will make it go away. It's their way of saying "I'm not engaging," but it just makes it seem like her feelings don't matter, which is hurtful and makes everything worse.
7. Shrugging
Shrugging when she poses a question is a total cop out. Shrugging when she's upset is invalidation. In either case, it's the opposite of showing up.
8. Raising His Voice
A man's speaking voice is already naturally louder than a woman's. Men tend to yell, even without realizing it, during conflict, which drowns out anything a woman has to say and feels disrespectful.
9. Aggressive Body Language
When men are angry, they tend to show it in every fiber of their body: their stance, their hand gestures, and their facial expressions change. This doesn't foster open communication whatsoever.
10. Talking Over People
Many men have a bad habit of talking over others, as if what they have to say is so much more important than what everyone else is saying. It shows a lack of consideration that can be infuriating, especially if it happens frequently.
Now that we've covered some communication tactics men typically use that drive women crazy, let's talk about the frustrating things women tend to do.
1. The Silent Treatment
The silent treatment is the ultimate form of passive-aggressive behavior. It's horribly frustrating to men, which is why women do it, but it's a form of emotional abuse that prevents healthy problem-solving and only leads to more pain.
2. Expecting Mind Reading
Many women seem to expect men to be psychic. They give subtle hints instead of spelling things out, and they get upset when their clues inevitably fly over the man's head. Just say what you want, girl!
3. Bringing Up Old Arguments
Instead of dealing with the matter at hand, women tend to group this fight in with years-old, resolved conflicts. This grows the argument into something bigger than it needs to be.
4. Overanalyzing
Women tend to be overthinkers more so than men. You think you've just sent a simple text, but she's on the phone with her three besties, decrypting it in every possible way.
5. Escalating Feelings
Some women use their emotions as ammunition, knowing it will shut down their man if they start shedding tears. He might fold and apologize first if the woman he loves is crying in front of him, but this isn't a real resolution.
6. Public Criticism
Some women have the bad habit of making a conversation that should be private, public. She'll openly criticize or tease him in front of others, which hits his pride harder than she may realize and makes everyone else in the room uncomfortable, too.
7. Posing Test Questions
Most men have fallen into this trap before. She randomly asks a question that's nearly impossible to answer "correctly," and before he knows what hit him, he's sleeping on the couch.
8. Guilt-Tripping
A woman might say in a passive-aggressive tone, "It must be nice that you have time for your friends," when what she really means is, "I miss spending time with you." We're not sure why women feel the need to engage in these mind games instead of just being clear.
9. "I'm Fine"
Ah, the classic "I'm fine" lie when she's clearly not fine. It drives men nuts because they just want to make her feel better, but they can't fix it if they don't know what's broken.
10. Using Therapy Language
A lot of women bring therapy language into fights to the point where the man is just lost. They'll use words like "enmeshed," "triggered," "gaslighting," or "dissonance," and a man will have to take out a psychology dictionary every time they have an argument.
