Time To Leave The Nest
Leaving your parents and moving out, whether it be with a roommate or on your own, is a crucial part of your life. Without leaving the nest, you will never develop into a fully functioning and responsible person. Sure, moving out can be hard, especially if you’re worried about feeling overwhelmed or lonely. But it’s a passage of life everyone should undergo, and a roommate can be a great way to soften the blow and ease into it.
1. Set Expectations
Before getting a roommate, it’s important to set both of your expectations. Is this strictly a business arrangement, or are you looking for a friend? How will you be splitting up bills, and when will you be paying them? These are all questions and expectations you should discuss beforehand.
2. Guest Rules
One important rule to talk about is regarding guests. For some people, having any guests over whenever they want is feasible, but others might have concerns about safety and shared spaces. For example, you should discuss whether you have parties, whether there are fixed quiet hours, or how often someone can sleep over before they become a third roommate of sorts.
3. Divide Chores
Many roommates end up falling out due to chore division. It’s important to have a strict and easy-to-follow schedule set up so there’s no confusion about when things are done. You might also want to consider rules for what happens if someone misses or neglects their chores.
4. Communicate Openly
While guidelines and schedules can help you organize running the house, it might not be the solution to every problem. That’s why it’s important to keep open communications at all times and exchange numbers and whatnot. If issues do come up, for example, the roommate keeps leaving dishes in the wrong place, be sure to talk to them about it early rather than explore alter.
5. Track Expenses
There are lots of apps that can be helpful in tracking shared expenses and splitting costs. For example, there’s Venmo or Splitwise. Alternatively, you can have one person just pay the other and let the other take care of the bills. But remember, bills are more complicated than rent, as you’ll have to take into account household product costs, utilities, internet, and so on.
6. Celebrate the Wins
Being a positive influence all around can really help strengthen that roommate relationship. Say thanks when they do their chores, and when something good happens, whether it be a promotion at work or a test, invite them along for the festivities. Maybe make some traditions of your own and have pizza and Netflix nights on Sundays.
7. Mutual Respect
One benefit from befriending and learning about your roommate is that it can help ease your cohabitation.
For example, if you know your roommate likes to go to bed early, you can be mindful of noise after hours. If you tell them you have a test to study for one day, they can be sure to keep their friends out of the house for that time.
8. Differentiate Shared Spaces
Most roommate situations involve shared and private spaces. For example, it may be up to both of you to keep the living room and kitchen clean. Meanwhile, individual bedrooms and bathrooms would be private spaces where you would leave one another alone. Being on the same page about these details helps solidify roommate relations.
9. Don’t Be a Ghost
Some people want to treat rooming together like a cold-hearted transaction and nothing more, going so far as to be a total ghost and never even show their faces. While it’s okay to want privacy, if you never talk or interact with your roommate, you’ll never know if you’re doing something that’s bothering them. For all you know, both of you might be getting heated about passive behaviors and are on the verge of exploding.
10. Be Ready For Their Lifestyle
Unless you know your roommate beforehand, there may definitely be some surprises on the way. For example, they might be a total party animal, or maybe they’re very shy and introverted. Alternatively, they may have different decorating tastes from you, or may even have a different orientation.
Just be ready to be accepting of their lifestyle and go with the flow!
Now that we talked about good roommate etiquette, here are 10 reasons you really should take the plunge, even if it means leaving your family.
Noémi Macavei-Katócz on Unsplash
1. Independence
First and foremost, moving out from under your parents is the only way to truly have independence. You won’t have to report to anybody else anymore or get permission to do things you want. No more curfews, no more family rules, and no more nagging. While most people love their families, it’s still important to get some space and become responsible for yourself.
2. Growth
People who live with their families for too long never develop the skillsets that more independent individuals do. Without their own bills and cleaning duties, they’ll never learn about responsibility or financial management. Plus, being on your own can teach confidence, critical thinking, and discipline.
3. Privacy
For those with a romantic partner or those who want to get one, moving away from their parents is a must. Having your own place gives you an environment to bring people back to. It can help facilitate and foster your romantic life, which will be a stepping stone towards a family of your own one day.
4. Affordability
While you save more money with parents, it comes at the cost of your freedom, privacy, and personal growth. Living on your own, on the other hand, can be too expensive. That’s why a roommate is the perfect middle, as it offers cheaper prices but still gives you autonomy to do what you want. It can also help ease the process of eventually living alone, serving as a stepping stone.
5. More Opportunities
Unless your parents live in the middle of a big and happening city, you’ll probably be starved for opportunity. Many families choose to settle in quiet suburbia, which is great for when you need a big home, but bad for when you’re looking for a job or want to meet someone. A roommate is a great way to get closer to work, school, or possible relationships.
6. Escaping Toxicity
Then again, not everyone’s family situation is a positive one. Perhaps your parents are overbearing, the household feels toxic, and you’re stressed by their expectations. Getting a roommate and leaving home is an affordable and sensible way to create some boundaries and regain your peace.
7. Your Image
Living with a roommate can also help improve your image, as some people might think you’re immature or sheltered if you live with your parents. This could be relevant in your career or in social circles, as independence is a sign of responsibility and maturity.
It can also help with dating, where people will be more impressed with your standing.
8. Romantic Opportunity
Speaking of romance, maybe your roommate could be your partner! Lots of adults are itching to leave their parents’ home and move in with their significant other, as this can help their relationship blossom and strengthen. Besides, you can never enjoy being a couple until you have your own shared space.
9. Prove Yourself
Some parents might not want their kids to leave, whether it’s because they would miss them, are afraid for them, or depend on them. But it’s important to remember that our lives are our own, and it’s up to us to ensure we have a full and fair experience. It’s not selfish to want the same independence that your parents were allowed as adults. So take this as an opportunity to prove yourself, especially if your parents demean you and say you can’t.
10. Establishing Your Identity
Living apart from your family is a crucial way to learning more about yourself. Currently, your values will be your parents’ values, but living away can help you determine what it is you actually want. It will also help you feel more like an adult and can be a point of pride.
