10 "Soft Skills" Schools Don't Teach & 10 Ways To Master Them On Your Own
You May Be Book Smart, But Are You Street Smart?
School teaches you tons of valuable skills from grammar rules to mathematics, but what's not included in the curriculum may be the things that most help you thrive in the real world. From being able to navigate tricky conversations to adapting and reading nonverbal cues, these abilities are what set you apart from all those other people holding the same diploma. Here are 10 "soft skills" you don't learn in school and how to master them on your own.
1. Time Management
While you indirectly learn how to manage your time in school through assignments, you aren't given the tools to master it. Prioritizing tasks, not procrastinating, and scheduling effectively are self-taught skills that are necessary for success.
2. Interpersonal Skills
Interpersonal skills aren't just crucial for forging healthy personal relationships, but they're crucial for networking, interviews, landing jobs, and making professional connections too. This includes communicating effectively, showing empathy, leadership, and being able to collaborate as part of a team.
3. Emotional Intelligence
Understanding and managing your own feelings while empathizing with others are essential skills for leading a balanced and emotionally stable life. Understanding emotions is like being able to understand another language; it takes work and practice.
4. Adaptability
Being able to roll with the punches when things don't go as planned is a crucial skill because so often, life throws curveballs. You have to be flexible and resilient in the face of them.
5. Active listening
Taking in what someone is saying and not just waiting for your turn to talk will help you in your personal relationships as well as your professional life. You will be able to absorb new information better, learn, and respond more effectively.
6. Persuasion
Persuasion is an essential skill not just for a salesperson. Being well-versed in the art of persuasion helps you become a more effective leader, build stronger relationships, and resolve conflicts better.
7. Self-Motivation
Getting anything done in life, but especially the nitty-gritty tasks you don't like, requires self-motivation. You were no doubt required to practice it in school to get your assignments done, but you weren't necessarily given the tools and knowledge required to tackle the true motivational slumps you're bound to experience in the real world.
8. Creative Problem Solving
Being able to think outside the box to find unique and creative solutions to problems is essential for a myriad of professions. Workplaces value this tremendously, but schools only teach you how to think one way.
9. Stress Management
Life is full of little stressors, so learning how to manage them is crucial for living a healthy, balanced life. Schools tend to pile on the stress through assignments, but they don't necessarily teach kids how to manage anxiety.
10. Boundary Setting
Boundary setting is the power of saying "no." It's what creates a separation between your home and work or school life, and it's crucial for your well-being and protecting your mental, emotional, and physical space.
Now that we've covered some of the soft skills you need to succeed in life, which your school probably didn't teach you, let's talk about how you can learn them yourself.
1. Journal
Journaling is one of the most effective tools for self-reflection, especially when you journal about emotionally intense situations. Slowing down to observe what happened will help you develop ways to manage your emotions and respond more effectively moving forward.
2. Watch Interviews
Watch interviews on shows like Hot Ones or The Tonight Show to study how pros listen and respond. Study not only what is said, but also the nonverbal cues.
3. Take On Different Types Of Jobs
While you're growing in your personal and professional life, take on freelance work or part-time jobs that force you to wear different hats. This will help you develop adaptability and communication skills.
4. Travel
Traveling isn't just fun and games; it's also a great way to become more adaptable, as it forces you into situations where you have to handle curveballs. It breaks you out of your routine, gives you a lot of real-world challenges, and forces you to communicate with a large variety of people.
5. Use Organization Apps
Thankfully, today we have a whole slew of time management apps on our phones to choose from, like Google Calendar, Toggl, and Notion. These apps can help you keep track of tasks and figure out how to prioritize your time more effectively.
6. Set Deadlines
Another great way to build good time management is to set fake deadlines for yourself. This gives you a sense of urgency and minimizes procrastination.
7. Practice Casual Conversation
Attending parties and social events may seem like a waste of time if you're an ambitious go-getter, but don't underestimate the power of easy communication. Things tend to come more easily to people who are good conversationalists, and practice makes perfect.
8. Read
Countless books in the "self-help" genre have been written about soft skills and how to develop them. Leverage these to learn how to set boundaries, become more persuasive, or communicate better.
9. Join A Debate Club
Even if you don't see yourself as a combative person, joining a debate club will drastically improve your persuasion skills. More subtly, it will also improve your communication and emotional intelligence as it forces you to read your opponent's micro-expressions.
Henri Mathieu-Saint-Laurent on Pexels
10. Watch TED Talks
Countless TED talks are available for free on YouTube. Here, successful people share their stories and give helpful advice for self-improvement. Leverage this for your own growth.
