10 Signs You’re Bad In Bed & 10 Ways To Get Better

10 Signs You’re Bad In Bed & 10 Ways To Get Better

Sex is crucial in almost every relationship, and while we’d all love to be dynamos in bed, sometimes the mood just isn’t right. Our partners may try to let us down easy, but we know when something is amiss—it happens! Instead of getting discouraged, learn instead which areas you can improve, and how to do it. 

1. No Enthusiasm

From not making any noise to pulling the ol’ starfish, zero enthusiasm is a quick mood kill. If you’re just laying there without touching your partner or exploring their erogenous zones, neither of you will have fun. 

InbedAndrea Piacquadio on Pexels

2. You Only Please Yourself

Hey, great job! You finished! Now what about your partner? It’s great that you know what you like in bed (honestly, it is) but don’t forget about the other person. It takes two to tango and not paying attention to their needs isn’t just rude, it’s poor performance.  

Diego-Lozano-Qghnk7Eis0K-UnsplashPhoto by Diego Lozano on Unsplash

3. You’re in a Rush

Sex isn’t a race to the finish line. Explore each other to learn what you like and what really gets your motor going. If you end the fun too soon, don’t be surprised if your partner is let down. 

Cassidy-Dickens-Coalcjei7Py-UnsplashPhoto by Cassidy Dickens on Unsplash

4. No Foreplay

People need a little grease on the wheels before things chug along. Foreplay builds anticipation, brings you closer, and extends your time in the bedroom—and the night is pretty lacklustre without it.

Nrd-C-Vzo7Ehjem-UnsplashPhoto by nrd on Unsplash


5. You Don’t Reciprocate

Your partner is sure to notice when you don’t reciprocate, which not only excludes them from the fun, but can also make them feel bad. To be honest, the biggest risk is that they just lose interest. Do your part under the sheets. 

Joel-Overbeck-4Kugrj1De1U-UnsplashPhoto by Joel Overbeck on Unsplash

6. There’s No Experimentation 

The same routine gets old fast. Even if you’re not that adventurous, there are countless ways to spice things up in the bedroom. Don’t be afraid to speak up and experiment with new moves. Variety is the spice of life after all.

Holly-Stratton-Phwbtwdz3F4-UnsplashPhoto by Holly Stratton on Unsplash

7. Zero Communication

Your partner has no idea what you want unless you tell them. Sure, they can figure out some erogenous zones on their own, but the only way to achieve peak pleasure is to tell them what you like. No communication leaves you unsatisfied and unheard, both of which harm a relationship.

Somnox-Sleep-B1Nifzfbnwa-UnsplashPhoto by Somnox Sleep on Unsplash

8. Changing Positions

One of the biggest letdowns is when you’re right on the cusp of release, literally pleading with your partner to not stop…and they stop. Avoid that in the future! Switching your rhythm only chases away the finish line. 

Yuris-Alhumaydy-Msxmhkgrs8S-UnsplashPhoto by Yuris Alhumaydy on Unsplash

9. Bad Hygeine

Hygeine plays a huge role in enjoyable sex, so shower and brush your teeth beforehand. From all the kissing to the exploration of each other’s nether regions, the last thing either of you want is an unpleasant odor. 

Jason-Seager-Amupyqnvx4E-UnsplashPhoto by Jason Seager on Unsplash

10. Getting Forceful

We know you’re in the zone, but don’t get forceful with a partner, even if you think it’s sexy. Unless you’ve received explicit consent, don’t push their head down or pin down their wrists. Getting too forceful is a quick way to take someone out of the act.

Chuttersnap-Dh3Nfqwvsr4-UnsplashPhoto by CHUTTERSNAP on Unsplash

Even if you suffer from a few of these signs, there are simple ways you can up your game.


1. Set the Mood

Bust out the candles and put on your favorite playlist because it’s time to kick it into high gear. The right mood sets the tone and puts everyone at ease, making it far easier for people to enjoy themselves. 

Rebecca-Peterson-Hall-An-Zgylxici-UnsplashPhoto by Rebecca Peterson-Hall on Unsplash

2. Use Toys

No one said you had to do it alone! In fact, toys are pleasurable for both parties, helps with foreplay, and is sometimes the only way people reach the finish line. You don’t need to get too crazy with them either—the majority of couples’ toys are simple to use and rock everyone’s socks off. 

Designecologist-Act2Uzwhsik-UnsplashPhoto by DESIGNECOLOGIST on Unsplash

3. Dirty Talk

To be fair, dirty talk isn’t for everyone—while some people don’t mind light degradation, others may be put off completely. Speak with your partner beforehand about whether it’s an avenue they’d like to explore, and if it is, feel free to whisper sweet (and dirty) nothings in their ear.

Toa-Heftiba-2Ey7Dmveqv4-UnsplashPhoto by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

4. Learn Techniques

Watch a movie, read a book, or cruise online forums for new techniques. There’s a wealth of knowledge out there for you to explore and discuss with your partner. You can even engage in learning together. 

Giorgio-Trovato-O-N5Mgkqmem-UnsplashPhoto by Giorgio Trovato on Unsplash

5. Speak Freely

Call out their name. Tell them what you want. Tell them what’s in store for them. However you choose to communicate, don’t forget your voice in the bedroom. 

Adam-Winger-T7Tfzv1Onuw-UnsplashPhoto by Adam Winger on Unsplash

6. Build Anticipation

Sometimes the best part of sex is the anticipation—the longer a partner waits, the hungrier they’ll get. Sensual kisses or merciless teasing can get sparks flying…and your bedroom may be on fire by the time you slip under the covers. 

Thought-Catalog- 9Pbhtjinfg-UnsplashPhoto by Thought Catalog on Unsplash


7. Massages

Break out the scented body oils because massages lay some serious groundwork. It’s an intimate experience that allows you to caress and tease each other, both of which set the mood for something more. 

Vladislav-Muslakov-Cwiu33Kgtoc-UnsplashPhoto by Vladislav Muslakov on Unsplash

8. Explore Each Other

You may know what your partner likes, but do you know what they love? New moves, longer foreplay, and thorough communication take intimacy from good to mindblowing.  

We-Vibe-Toys-S9Wj Jhec 4-UnsplashPhoto by We-Vibe Toys on Unsplash

9. Work Out

Working out is an important part of good performance. The right routine improves stamina and keeps you healthy, which goes farther than you think in the bedroom. Try to incorporate a little gym session to really bring the pleasure.   Chander-R-Atfa8Ndgpka-UnsplashPhoto by Chander R on Unsplash

10. Eye Contact

Subtle eye contact enhances intimacy and brings you both closer. It’s a fine line between too much and not enough, but finding that perfect balance only ups the pleasure. 

Toa-Heftiba-A7Xutljvemc-UnsplashPhoto by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash