Instead of beating yourself up over your divorce, we want to give you 10 healthy ways to deal with all the stress and negative emotions that follow. It's important that you keep your mind and body healthy after all! And since we're at it, we've added 10 important things to avoid doing too, so you can better navigate the recovery process and be on your way to being yourself again.
1. Allow Yourself to Grieve
Divorce is an exceptionally rough period in anyone's life, so don't feel the need to rush through the process of grieving. You likely need time to understand your own emotions and give yourself some time to breathe. Ending a long relationship can really affect your mental health, so in order to heal, be patient with yourself.
2. Seek Professional Help
There's no shame in going to a therapist for some emotional guidance. In today's society, the stigma surrounding therapy is slowly disappearing, which is a good thing! Consulting with a therapist can be just what you need to heal; they can provide you with a safe space to express your thoughts and feelings, and at the end of it all, they'll provide you with healthy strategies on how to move forward.
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3. Maintain a Support System
There's no need to face this tough time alone - you can always count on your friends and family to have your back during your time of need. They can offer you emotional support that will help speed up your recovery process, allowing you to feel heard, loved, and understood.
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4. Prioritize Self-Care
While it's important you take care of your mind and body on a regular basis, it's of even more importance when you're going through a rough period in your life. After going through a divorce, it's a good idea to engage in activities that promote physical and mental heath. Whether it's exercising, making sure you're still eating a balanced diet, or getting enough sleep, taking care of yourself is necessary for you to better cope with all the stress.
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5. Establish a Routine
If your days are starting to feel all jumbled together, try creating a consistent daily routine you can rely on. Having that sense of normalcy and stability can be really reassuring, especially as you're going through a time of drastic change. As you plan out your routine, make sure you add in time for self-care, hobbies, and relaxation.
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6. Be Respectful To Your Ex
We know you're likely harboring some negative emotions toward your ex, but keep it to yourself. Don't let your state of mind make you do something you might regret. It's ideal that you do your best to maintain a cooperative and respectful relationship with your ex, especially if there are children involved. The last thing you want to do is create unnecessary conflict that might create problems for everyone.
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7. Set Future Goals
At some point, you have to start looking toward the future and away from the past. When you've reached this stage in your healing process, start planning some new goals! Shift your perspective from thinking about what you've lost to new doors that have just opened up. It's a good way to keep you motivated as you slowly heal and look toward improving yourself.
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8. Practice Mindfulness
From meditation to yoga to slow walks outdoors, find which form of mindful practice works best for you. During this hectic time, calm yourself down by doing things that keep you grounded and relaxed. It may seem like a minor thing to do, but you'll be amazed by how helpful it'll be in improving your recovery.
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9. Journal Your Thoughts
When you've got too much swimming around in your head, writing down your thoughts and feelings can be both a therapeutic outlet for your emotions, and an easy way to organize your thought process. It can feel like talking to a good friend, someone who will listen to whatever you say. As you journal each day, you'll find the burden on your heart slowly lessen over time.
10. Limit Social Media
Do you really want to accidentally see an update about your ex on social media while you're still trying to heal? No? Yeah, we didn't think so either. As hard as it might be, reducing your usage of social media can do wonders on your mental health, especially during this time. It's about protecting yourself and focusing on what needs to be done, rather than losing yourself to the brainless wormhole that we sometimes find ourselves in on social media.
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1. Don't Rush into Another Relationship
Going through divorce takes a lot longer to process than you might think. So the last thing you want to do is jump into a new relationship when you're not emotionally ready, not prepared, or not fully committed. It's not good for your own sake, or the person you're getting involved with.
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2. Avoid Isolating Yourself
Keep busy while you're still recovering, don't lock yourself up and weep alone! Surrounding yourself with friends and family during this time is essential - it'll keep you distracted! You don't want to be isolated during this time as it'll definitely lead to plenty of pent up negative emotions.
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3. Don't Neglect Your Finances
We know it's a stressful period in your life, but make sure you don't neglect your financial situation to the last second. You likely shared an account with your ex-partner, but now that you've split, you've got to plan accordingly.
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4. Resist the Urge to Blame Yourself
No matter what you do, don't blame yourself for what happened. It's a dangerous game that leads to nothing good. Always remember that relationships are built from two people, not just you; there are many different reasons why the marriage didn't work out. Don't be too hard on yourself and focus on what you were able to learn rather than the things you did wrong.
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5. Don't Use Children as Pawns
If you have children who are affected by this divorce, you want to make the transition as smooth as possible for them. It's a difficult time for you, but it can be an even more difficult time for them where they don't really understand what's going on. Keep them out of any conflicts that may occur, and make sure you don't use them in any way to make the divorce better for yourself.
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6. Avoid Stalking Your Ex on Social Media
We already mentioned the healthy thing to do is stay away from social media during your healing process, but one thing you absolutely want to avoid doing is searching up your ex on your own. Don't keep tabs on your ex, don't stalk his profiles, don't see what he's up to. You shouldn't be thinking about him at all as you try to recover!
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7. Don't Ignore Your Emotions
It's normal to feel sad, depressed, or anxious while going through a divorce, there's no need to suppress it or hide it. Let your emotions free, because doing the opposite will only hurt you more. Your emotions will guide you toward doing what's best for you in the moment, so listen to them, don't ignore them.
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8. Avoid "Winning" the Breakup
There's no need to put up a front and try to show off to your ex. Just because you "appear" to be doing better, doesn't mean you actually are and besides, it's a very unhealthy way to deal with a divorce. You should be focusing on actually healing rather than putting up a front for show.
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9. Don't Hold onto Grudges
Let the past stay in the past. Holding onto unnecessary grudges will just keep you from moving forward and growing. Forgiveness is an important trait that allows us to improve on ourselves, so look toward forgetting all the bad and moving onto the good.
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10. Resist the Temptation to Badmouth Your Ex
We know this divorce has got you feeling a certain way, but no matter how sad or angry you are, resist the temptation to curse at or badmouth your ex. Especially avoid it when in public or with mutual friends. There's no need to bring someone else down during this time; always try to keep things as civil and respectful as possible for everyone involved.
