Dating Rules: Out With The Old, In With The New
Today's dating scene can be tough to navigate. When should you make the first move? Who should make the first move? What makes a good date, anyway? To answer those questions before you plan that next date, here are 10 outdated rules you should forget about and 10 modern dating tips to follow instead.
1. One Person Plans The Date
Most people think that date planning is up to one person and what they end up suggesting is set in stone. Instead, date ideas should come from both parties so that it's enjoyable for everyone. Better yet, don't stick to a plan at all.
2. Waiting Three Days Before Replying
There's almost an unspoken rule in the dating world that you should wait to respond after a date. After all, you don't want to come off too eager, right? But this waiting period isn't doing anyone favors. Instead, it makes it seem like you've moved on, or that you couldn't care less.
3. Women Shouldn't Initiate
It's often thought that women don't need to initiate because suitors will flock to her, but that's an outdated mindset. Regardless of your gender, if you like someone, make the first move.
4. No Deep Discussions
You want to discuss the theory of relativity but don't want your date to think you're weird? Or is the Internet telling you to only make small talk? That's baloney advice. You should feel comfortable enough to talk about anything if it's with the right person.
5. Playing Hard To Get
Sure, teasing and flirting are all part of the fun in the initial stages. When it drags on for too long, though, frustration can build. You want to strike a good balance between playing coy and being direct.
6. Only Date 'Your Type'
We get it: we know what we like, and sometimes we don't want to explore outside the box. But by restricting your options, you could miss out on meeting a lot of amazing people, which could've in turn led to great relationships.
7. Never Talk About Exes
While you should probably not talk about your ex from the get-go on the first date (or insert them into conversation every chance you get), it's fine to bring up your past relationships. It can make for healthy discussions about what you're looking for in a person.
8. One Person Should Always Pay
It's seen as common courtesy to pay for a date if you were the one who initiated or picked the spot. But there's nothing wrong with going dutch, either. Just communicate to make sure you're both comfortable with whichever system.
9. Don't Be Outright About Intentions
Though it can be jarring on the first date to talk about marriage or kids, you should be open about what your intentions are. Whether you're looking for something more casual for the time being or something more serious, make that clear.
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10. Showing Only Your 'Best' Side
We all want to look our best, especially on a date. That's just human nature. But don't feel like you need to be absolutely perfect to the point you hide your real personality.
Now that we've covered some outdated rules, here are 10 modern dating tips you should follow.
1. Communication Is Key
Going to be late? Can't make it at all? Let your date know. Communication makes for a healthy relationship, and you should start right from the first meeting.
2. Setting Clear Boundaries
Whether you don't kiss on the first date or you're not comfortable talking about certain topics, tell your date. It's also a good way to gauge if there are any immediate red flags about this person if they don't respect your boundaries.
3. Have Fun
Dating should be enjoyable, so have fun! Be spontaneous. Even if you already have a plan in mind for what to do, don't be afraid to scrap it and just go with the flow.
4. Be Honest
Honesty is the best policy—and it's true. It's better that you're honest earlier in the dating stage than later, when more feelings develop. Unless it's disrespectful, if there's something you don't like, let your date know.
5. Respect Each Other's Time
Sometimes dates don't turn out the way we hoped, and that's okay. Finding out what we like is part of the experience. If a date feels like it's dragging along, thank them for meeting up, then feel free to cut it short.
6. Respect Each Other's Values
Along with respecting time, values are also important. You might find that you and your date clash in opinions on a topic, or have different goals or lifestyles. As long as nothing is a dealbreaker, sometimes you'll have to agree to disagree.
7. Stay Open-Minded
Maybe the first date didn't go the way you planned, or maybe your date wasn't the person you envisioned. Whatever it is, if you're only a few dates in, don't immediately write it off. Even if they're not your exact type, they could have unexpected charms.
8. Set A Comfortable Pace
If you're ready to be intimate but your date isn't, communicate to each other about what's a good pace for both of you. The worst thing you can do is rush into it when one person isn't comfortable or ready yet.
9. Date Multiple People
You might think it's wrong to schedule multiple dates with different people, but we say go for it. Again, dating should be fun! This is the stage where you're free to figure out what you like and don't like in a relationship, so don't restrict yourself to dating one person at a time.
10. Be Your True Self
We've mentioned this already, but it's important to reiterate. Be yourself on dates! Whether you have a unique style or your humor is limited to making bad knock-knock jokes, let that personality shine. The ones worth your time will stay.
