Got Problems With The In-Laws?
Let’s face it–– you’ve taken their baby away. We know, your spouse is in their fifties now, but age doesn’t seem to phase their parents. Although they shouldn’t use this as an excuse to treat you badly, unfortunately, they often do. Here are the most annoying things toxic in-laws do that truly test your limits:
1. Show Up Unannounced
Surprise!–– Your mother-in-law just thought she’d pop over after lunchtime when she knows you work from home. She won’t stay long, she just happens to be down your street with that Tupperware you left ten years ago at her house and thought she should finally return. It’s a classic–– annoying in-laws love to pop over whenever they please, especially at the most inconvenient times.
2. Give Their Unwanted Opinions
Prying in-laws love to give their opinions even though you didn’t ask. They give their opposing opinions on decisions you’ve already made with your partner. It’s unlikely you’re going to change your mind after they swoop in with their distasteful comments.
3. Invade Your Privacy
A toxic in-law doesn’t respect boundaries. They insert themselves into your arguments or call your spouse every night at dinnertime. The major privacy invaders snoop through your drawers and ask you questions like “What’s that medication in there for?”
4. Constant Criticism
It feels like everything you do is never good enough. They’re constantly critiquing you like a critic at an art show and you don’t care for their taste. They criticize you about everything, from your lifestyle choices to the clothes that you wear. Their criticism can hurt your self-esteem and your marriage.
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5. Play The Victim
It’s the worst when they play the victim card. They act like they can’t believe you’re mad at them for coming over while you’re gone to tidy up like you didn’t ask. They get sad because you made plans with friends so you must not care about them.
6. Compare Their Parenting Style
It’s rather annoying when in-laws compare how you parent your child to how they raised your spouse. They tend to forget that times have changed and we don’t do everything the same as they used to. You want to tell them that your partner’s annoying traits must’ve come from them!
7. Exclude You From Family Events
A clear sign of toxic behavior is when your in-law forgets your invitation. It’s a red flag when they don’t invite you to family gatherings because you’re “technically not family”, or if they make you feel unwelcome when you’re there.
8. Manipulate Your Spouse
A common toxic trait is master manipulation. Whether they manipulate your spouse with guilt trips or by directing their decisions, it can create tension in your marriage. It can be the most frustrating when they do it so well that your spouse thinks you’re overreacting when you call them out.
9. Create Drama
It’s not a family gathering without a fight!–– Your life has become a TV show and your in-law is the star. Drama queens love to stir up conflicts, exaggerate a negative situation, and spread rumors about you with the extended family.
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10. Ruin Your Plans
Toxic in-laws have a great ability to sabotage your plans. They have several methods to ruin your day by canceling last-minute, showing up late, or double-booking themselves. Your schedule is never a priority on their calendar.
11. Invite Themselves
You’re talking about your plans for a cottage getaway and the next minute you’re handing the bunkie to the in-laws. Inviting themselves over to your home or including themselves in your plans without you asking is not what you signed up for.
12. Compete For Attention
You didn’t know you were in competition with his mother when you married your husband. Get-togethers are like a battle for affection and your spouse gives all of his attention to his demanding mother. She wins the gold medal for attention seeking.
13. Refuse To Apologize
Sorry, but you won’t win this argument. You finally got the nerve to call them out but they won’t apologize. A toxic in-law might be stubborn and never admit that they’re wrong.
14. Ignore Your Rules
Do you love it when you come home to a hyper child with a bellyache because Grandpa let them eat an entire box of Oreos? Or when you ask the in-laws to hide their sword collection when the toddler’s around but they seem to “forget” every time? You don’t have many rules but they break them all anyway.
15. Treat You Like A Child
The last thing you want in your adulthood is more parenting from someone else’s parents. Some toxic in-laws are controlling and treat you like a helpless child. They talk down to you like you don’t know what you’re doing and that they know better than you.
16. Overly Passive Aggressive
“Oh, you didn’t overcook the dinner this time, how wonderful!”–– No thanks, Mrs. De Vil, you can leave your backhanded compliments at the door. A passive-aggressive monster-in-law knows how to cut deep and always has something to say. They belittle you and there’s no need for that!
17. Unpredictable Behavior
There’s a 50/50 chance your in-laws are in a grumpy mood today but you won’t find out until they’re at the door. You don’t know if you’ll be walking on eggshells all day or if they’ll be chatting non-stop through lunch. You know they want something if they’re acting overly nice to you.
18. Make Everything Negative
Everything is a downer! The weather, their hair, the world–– nothing you say will please them. They turn everything around with a negative perspective or a disappointed response. It can be draining and it’s not your responsibility to deal with a Negative Nancy.
19. Talk Gossip
It’s childish, but they’ve got the gift of the gab. If they thrive off the hot-goss at their dinner parties then you know they love to gossip about you too. It might be their way of spreading their version of you to their friends and family, which is another form of manipulative behvior.
20. One-Up You
The one-uppers are quite annoying and it’s hard for you to talk to them. It could be jealousy or low self-esteem but you’d rather not play their game in every conversation. They always need to top your accomplishments or make everything feel like a competition.
