How You Can Spend a Difficult Day
Many of us celebrate Mother’s Day without a care in the world, but it’s not always flowers and brunch for everyone. After losing a parent, many people have a rougher time during such holidays—which is why we’ve compiled a few ways you can cope.
1. Take a Day Off
It’s only natural to feel an influx of emotions on difficult days. Give yourself some deserved grace by taking the day off. Regardless of how you celebrate, if you even choose to, you’ll have the whole day to yourself.
2. Be Patient With Yourself
Grief affects us in all sorts of ways, so remember to be patient with yourself this Mother’s Day. It’s okay not to be okay. Cry if you need to. Be patient with any anger. Remember, you haven’t done anything wrong for not having any outward displays of emotion either.
3. Meet With Other Family
Whether it’s your siblings or some other mothers in your life, spending time with your family can be a great way to spend Mother’s Day. You can share stories, head to a restaurant, or just enjoy some time together.
4. Buy Flowers
Flowers are a Mother’s Day staple, so you can always buy a fresh bouquet. Some people make a day of it by heading to a grave site. Others like to plant them in their mother’s honor. Some simply keep them in the house. Whatever you choose to do, don’t rule out those bright blooms.
5. Try to Avoid Triggers
Not everyone wants to celebrate Mother’s Day after such a devastating loss—and that’s okay! Try to avoid your triggers to make it easier on yourself: unplug for the day, reach out to your support group, or indulge in a little self-care.
6. Set a Place at the Table
Your mother may not be there physically, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still honor her. Setting a place at the table can acknowledge her everlasting presence in your life and can provide a sense of comfort.
7. Write a Letter or a Card
There’s nothing wrong with writing your mom a heartfelt letter. There’s nothing wrong with buying her a Mother’s Day card either. Both can help you express your feelings and provide a therapeutic sense of catharsis.
8. Indulge in Self-Care
Mother’s Day can be rough on a lot of people, which is exactly why you deserve self-care. Go for a nice, long walk. Take a relaxing bubble bath. Treat yourself to a night at the movies. However self-care looks for you, indulge in your favorite activities.
9. Remember the Good Times
This holiday is a great time to remember your favorite things about your mom. It could be anything from her sense of humor to the lessons she taught you. They’re also incredible to share among family!
10. Treat it Like Any Other Day
No one said you have to celebrate Mother’s Day at all. Some people prefer to treat it like any other day, and that’s completely healthy too. If you’d rather not think about it, go about your life and remember that it’s more than okay to do so.
11. Light a Candle
Sometimes the simplest gestures hold the largest meaning. Lighting a candle can be an effective way to honor your loss, especially since it isn’t an over-the-top gesture. You can light one near a photo of her or keep it burning by the window.
12. Reach Out to Others
Don’t think you have to go through this alone. Loved ones understand your struggle and want to support you—all you have to do is let them. Reach out to your support group and tell them what you need.
13. Break Out Photo Albums
What better way to remember your mother than to go through photo albums? They’re basically like flip-through time capsules, and they’re often a terrific way to reminisce about everything you loved.
14. Plant a Tree in Her Honor
If you’re not a flowers kind of person, trees are another fantastic option. Planting them not only honors her memory, but it also keeps you busy, which can help take your mind off things. You’re also doing the planet some good!
15. Go for a Walk
Nothing clears our head like a good walk, so get out there and enjoy nature. The best thing about them is just how customizable they are—hit the trails for a chance to meet new people or stick to hikes for serene alone time.
16. Honor a Tradition
Our moms bestow dozens of beautiful traditions on the family, and Mother’s Day is the perfect way to honor them. From making a family recipe to gathering the family for a movie night, those traditions can make the whole day a little better.
17. Unplug From Social Media
People naturally love to share their lives on social media, but that’s also a giant trigger for some. Keep off those platforms to avoid making yourself feel worse. We could all use a break from social media anyway.
18. Lean on Community
There is a silver lining to grief: many people have experienced the same thing and can help you move forward in a healthy way. Whether it’s group therapy sessions or even just an online forum, don’t be afraid to reach out to those who understand what you’re going through.
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19. Make Her Favorite Meal
We all have a favorite meal! Mother’s Day is a good time to sink your teeth into your mom’s ultimate dish. If you’re up for it, listen to some music along the way and get cooking. Those nostalgic scents can make you feel right at home, too.
20. Make a Donation in Her Honor
One of the simplest and most impactful things you can do for Mother’s Day is to donate in her honor. There’s no shortage of great causes that need help, and you can even focus on ones that were important to her specifically.
