Polyamory is often kept hush-hush in society, but it’s high time to embrace all the positives of the lifestyle! While it’s certainly not a decision to be made lightly or even one that makes sense for everyone, let’s dive into the pros and cons.
1. Exploration
Polyamory allows you to explore what you need in the bedroom and a relationship. You learn new things about yourself, which can boost your confidence and better your self-awareness. It also gives you the chance to understand different dynamics and needs.
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2. Increased Intimacy
Despite what people say, open relationships are very capable of deepening intimacy between partners. You need trust and communication in an open relationship, same as any other, but there’s an added level of sharing desires and vulnerabilities more freely.
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3. Freedom
There’s nothing wrong with wanting freedom in your love life—so long as everyone is on board, open relationships give everyone a chance to seek connections and intimacy without the fear of judgment. You control your autonomy and have more space to explore your needs.
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4. Better Communication
Successful open relationships need a lot of communication. Open and honest discussions, especially about vulnerabilities or boundaries, only better how partners speak to each other. These conversations also strengthen the foundation needed for polyamory.
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5. Companionship
Monogamous couples know how quickly a partner can become a best friend, but polyamorous couples can expand their social circle even more. Building a connection with multiple people satisfies our basic social needs, but there’s also the added bonus of intimacy.
6. Flexibility
Polyamory gives everyone the flexibility to tailor relationships to their needs. Regardless of what that looks like for you, couples can work out a structure that best suits their lifestyles and ensures everyone gets ultimate fulfillment.
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7. No Dependency
Not everyone wants to brand their partner as “the one.” In fact, the very idea is off-putting for some people who either don’t want that pressure placed on them or don’t want to bestow that label on someone else. At the end of the day, polyamory doesn’t follow stereotypical constructs, which works better for a lot of people.
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8. Embraces Differences
If your partner is a huge extrovert while you enjoy solitude, polyamory gives you a chance to embrace these differences. Multiple relationships fulfill multiple parts of you, and you don’t have to rely on one person to do it all.
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9. Compersion
Open relationships can open the door to compersion, a coin termed by the poly community that essentially means feeling happy that you’re partner is happy—even if they’re with another. Think of it as jealousy’s opposite, and it’s a feeling that can promote emotional growth and empathy.
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10. More Satisfaction
What’s better than one amazing partner in bed? Multiple! Based on how your polyamorous relationship looks, time in the bedroom isn’t necessarily tied to emotion—it can simply be about the joys of pleasure. Multiple partners mean even more fulfillment, bettering your confidence and happiness.
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While there are plenty of thrills to polyamory, it isn’t exactly for everyone.
1. Jealousy
Plenty of people have dipped their toes in the poly pool only to come out with the cold trickle of jealousy soon after. It’s not a lifestyle suitable for everyone and even if you’re not jealous now, you very easily could get there. It’s important to think about how you view relationships before you dive in.
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2. Social Stigma
The stigma around polyamory is very much alive, and that unfortunately means you may have to deal with backlash. It might not seem like a big deal now, but those social stigmas could seriously hinder your support system.
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3. Concerns About Transmission
You know your partner, you know their history, and you trust them in the bedroom. While all of those are cornerstones to a healthy relationship, you may not have the same insight about a new partner, and the risk of transmission turns people away.
4. Potential Power Imbalance
Open relationships could very easily lead to power imbalances, even if they’re accidental. Sort of like how imbalances happen in friend groups, they, too, can happen in polyamorous situations—except those imbalances could potentially hurt even more.
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5. Time-Consuming
Phew, you thought one relationship was time-consuming. Whether you’re going to dinner or meeting each other after work, multiple relationships require even more time to maintain. If you have a packed schedule or don’t want the added responsibility, maybe reconsider.
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6. They’re Not a Cure-All
If you’re only considering polyamory to try and save a current relationship, it’s not going to happen. Much like how children don’t save marriages, poly relationships don’t cure deep-rooted issues between you and your partner.
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7. Potentially Expensive
Multiple relationships eat up more time, but they also prey on your savings account. Between more dinner outings, gifts, or even gas, polyamory can get expensive quick—and it’s a big enough sore spot for some people to avoid the lifestyle.
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8. Different Relationship Styles
People have all sorts of needs and desires in a relationship…and multiple partners can mean you’re pulled in various directions. Keeping different partners happy takes time and effort and it isn’t something everyone is capable of.
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9. Emotional Confusion
There’s always the chance that you’ll catch stronger feelings for one person over another. It’s worth thinking about whether you can handle those conversations with your partner or whether the situation is best avoided altogether.
10. More Feelings to Manage
With more partners comes more emotions to deal with. Polyamory requires just as much communication and dedication as other relationships, so if you’re not willing to devote even more time among more people, it may not be for you.
